deep within somewhere....

New MSD dollfie

2009-07-23T22:58:00.001-07:00

i finally ordered my dollzone msd from alice on wed!
yeah!!!

went to collect my boss organiser, cuz he forgot bout it. so went to fort canning and took it back, den i walked to bugis, and drop by alice shop.

she is the official distributor of dollzone. and i always wanted to get both the msd, luke and megi. but couldn't decide which dollfie to get. so i decided to get one doll at a time. ordered megi.
this is how he look like.

http://www.doll-zone.com/showproduct.asp?id=182

he's so cute & handsome!!
seen luke in real doll before..however,..he does not look so appealing to me. this time, i am going for a change in dolls. i'll be paying for the doll every month by installments. and i am planning to get more dolls, getting one doll after another..gosh. i am getting poisoned by dollfies liao..and i haf already planned where to safe keep them. hahahah

i haf a long list of dolls to get la...
nvm. i can get it one by one slowly...hhaha

dollzone :
MSD Luke
MSD megi (naming him Shingo Natsuki. haha)

angell studio:
MSD Leira
Baby Momo Milk Pink

Doll Soom :
SD Gem Gena (cream white skin)
Monthly doll - Topaz-Honey Dew
Eliv&Iv - Sweet Melodies

Dream Of Dolls :
DOD Ducan
DOD Kirill
DOD Kalix
DOT homme ducan
DOC SI

Lati Dolls :
Lati Yellow Coco
Lati Red M

Rosette School of dolls :
Violet Rosette School Spring term
camellia

Dollmore :
Youth Eve - Angelic scars - LE 10
Kid Girl - Sweet Wind Memory ISAAC- LE40

and more!! lolol
now i can't wait for my doll to arrive ..
waiting waiting....

cosfest 2009

2009-07-16T03:03:00.000-07:00

been long time since i last blogged.

went to cosfest last weekend!!
fun la!
went to chalet which is organised by jjp and ozora . a lot of ppl went. but only shiroro and me (2 girls) stayed overnite, the rest are all guys.

i had to go to my uncle wedding on sat, den go to cosfest. by the time i reached, it was 6 pm plus liao!! omg! first time in years that i am missing cosfest day 1 la! anyway, lucky i can make it for day 2.

on sat nite, we had bbq. it rained 3 times. the food had to be carried into the room , and the floor is so wet la..everyone stepped around in the room. the bed is dirty too liao lo..wtf. anyway, it is really memorable.

den on sun, i went to the event wif a group of cosplayers. tis is my first time in few years, that i am going to cosfest, wif a group of cosplayers. i felt happy and excited. cuz for the past few years, i have been going with poly friends who dun cosplay, and at times alone, felt lonely.

i cosplayed as Lady from Devil May Cry 4 game. lots of ppl took my pix, eventually found a lot of my pix at the forum, under the gallery section. posted all the pix, the nice pix , at my cure cos account. it is a international cosplay community. i found kaname's account! he is so handsome la!! my favourite male cosplayer...^^ *fangirls* ps: it is kaname (wif a star behind his name)

k..back to cosfest.
i met Dante (cosplayed by keruton).wah!! he ishhh hott! he made the outfit and the weapons himself! omg..he did a really good job. we took pix together, and attracted lots of photographers. wahahaha... oso took pix wif blacklash. she did ada wong from resident evil 4 game. she ishh sexy la! *wolf whistles*

anyway, dante and I have few fangirls. one of the fangirl had her mom tagging along. and her mom is so supportive of her daughter cosplaying, and even encouraged me to continue cosplay. and kept saying that dante is hot, and i did Lady, look sexy..lol.
but i didn't have my bazooka weapon la!! my friend who is doing the weapon for me, is in ns, he didn't have time to finish it for cosfest. -_- ... anyway, blacklash is willing to lend me her handgun for some shots. even dante lend me his rebellion weapon , and the gun with the words 'ebony & ivory' .

i was hanging out wif kiramaru, he did lavi from d gray man. and it attracted a lot of ppl to take his photos. as both of us is doing solo, therefore we decided to group together, though we are not doing the same anime. it is quite fun hanging out with him. when we were sitting on the grass resting, i almost dozed off while sitting, he almost dozed off while lying on the grass. ppl came over and took our pix. and we didn't know la! till i opened my eyes and saw the photographers. kira went back to rest, ignored them. i just posed for them, while sitting on the grass. there is 2 reporters who interviewed me, and they are from the straits times la! omg. (but the straits times did not post my pix..saw the newspaper liao).
also took pix wif other cosplayers too.. ^^

luckily, i managed to finish sewing the stripes on Lady's suit. it took me 2 months to complete. cuz at times i was busy watching anime, practicing singing for band jamming. now i quit band liao. so i haf more time for cosplay liao.

actually i did not sew the stripes on Lady's shorts. oops... but after i finish sewing the bikini for DOA shoot in august, i will have to do Lady's shorts, and sew the design on the suit collar. the whole costume is currently now 90% accurate, but i wanna do it properly. cuz it is for a photoshoot wif some pro cosplayers in september, october. can't wait for it >_<

i met aiiki and some of them at day 1. too bad aiiki can't join us on day 2. almost couldn't recognize aiiki la.. cuz she wore blond wig.lol.

den on sun, all the guys went home. i was the only one left in the chalet! omg. luckily, met some of my friends from another chalet. they were staying for the nite too. so , i was not alone..wahahah. chatted wif a good friend, while the guys is playing ps3 game..and he was playing DMC 4 la!!! lolol

took leave on monday. cuz i wanted to stay at chalet till mon. at first , jjp they all wanna book out on mon mornin. however they went off on sun nite.. sian. lucky met my friends from other chalet. there was lots of ppl getting chalet la..

met lots of them and chatted. really glad that i made tis decision by staying at chalet. otherwise i will be brooding at home, going to church..phew

didn't want to get back to work too..lol
didn't had enough sleep on sunday nite..slept veri late ah. slept early on mon nite..

though my stepmom threaten me again, to quit cosplay. however i am not going to give up.
the show must go on...... (being random)

now i have no more band
no band
no cosplay
no more dollfie stuffs
sian... life is boring without it.

my bf supports me to continue cosplay. he is veri supportive. omg..
yeap..got a new bf. mom knows bout it, but not against it, and not totally like it. however, my bf is determined to prove to others how much he love me, and he is soooo sweet la...awww..
didn't regret knowing him.. ^^
gtg home liao..after work liao lo... heeeee

love story

2009-06-10T00:26:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, my company have a promotion for the customers who shop online. They can write love story and submit to win exquisite jewelleries. My colleague in the merchandising dept tell me to join and write story, as they want more ppl to participate. So i wrote the following story.
It was written based on a dream I had years ago. The dream is still etched deep in my memory even till now. Just that I edited and add in some additional points, but the part being stabbed and meeting the guy in the white room is real..

Here is the story :

As the soothing instrumental music plays in the room, Crystal slowly fall into a deep sleep.

She dreamt that she is in a land filled with lots of trees, no buildings, no people.

Just when crystal is feeling puzzled and scared, a black Jaguar car drove by and stopped in front of her. Two men clad in black suits alighted the car and walked towards Crystal. She wanted to ask them where is the place and who they are. however, the two men smiled to her and each of them walked to her side. The men standing on her right side took out a knife and plunged it deep into her stomach. She had no time to react, to avoid the knife. The pain came too sudden and she fainted due to the excrutiating pain.

When she woke up, she found herself, still in the dream.
She was lying on a pure silk white bed. There are white curtain sheets hanging down from the ceiling. The whole place is made up of white ceilings, white bed.
She stood up from the bed, and walked around, trying desperately to find a way out and finding the place that she is in.

She came across this bed, with a man sitting back facing towards her.
He was clad in white, with black hair.
His back looks very familiar to her.
As she walk nearer to him, he turn towards her.

His face is ........

How could she ever forget his face?
The love that he once gave her was so deep and sweet.
She hugged him and he put his hands over her stomach area which was hurt just now.
Instantly, her wounds is healed.

The man sitting next to her is the beloved man whom have left her months ago due to a tragic car accident.

She thought that she have lost him forever.

But now, they have reconciled in the dream that she is now in...

However, the price to pay for staying with the beloved is to...

sleep for eternity.

Back in her room where her body sleeps, the music continues to play

"I always see you in my dream
Being bound to freedom
Let me flap my transparent wings
I'll meet you by chance in an endless world
Even if I know it's only for awhile

I always see you in my dream
In a maze, like always
Let me flap my transparent wings
Sad eyes searching for you
I float in my dream

I always see you in my dream
I'm falling upside down
And even if I awake from this fleeting sleep
Like those days
If I could be by your side...... "

-____________________________________________________________________________-
(song copyrighted (C) under Pearl Wong)

performance

2009-06-09T21:59:00.000-07:00

went for performance for the last 2 weekends.

on 30 may, it was at punggol, for a car show cum carnival. anyway, it is far and the weather is so hot! there was little people, however it was fun.
though there were little audience, but it was fun hanging out with some other sgcafe friends. as there were no other performers, so i was the first one to go on stage. i literally became the host. greeted everyone afternoon, introduced to them bout the cosplayers, den i sang 2 songs, colours (opening theme song for the anime 'code geass : rebellion of lelouch') and drivers high (by L`arc~En~Ciel, opening song for the anime great teacher onizuka 'GTO')

got to know some new friends, a pretty race queen champion for year 2008, the organisers at the event. germaine brought her dollfies to the event . a lot of ppl were amazed by the dollfies and kept taking pix of the dolls. both germaine and I was scared, cuz the photographers uses flash on the dollfies! omg! camera flashes have concentrated amount of a substance (forget name of substance) and tis will affect the dollfies resin, thus increasing the speed of dollfies resin to turn yellow. so, i instantly told the photographers to stop. den one by one, they switch off the flash and told me that they will take without the flash, and seems to be quite scared of me. cuz i was literally scolding them at first..oops. i didn't mean it... i am just too agitated by their actions.

den last min, liqing and one more gal performed 2 songs. and i join in their caramel dansen dance..lol. i dun really know how to dance. i just followed their steps only. den they danced the hare hare yukai dance, but i didn't join, cuz i dunno the dance at all.
think i gonna learn it, for the fun of it.

lol..

den on 6june, that was last sat. i went to the vgl event on sun, after church session. just in time, to watch the cosplay competition.
i performed on sat, 6 june, which was the performance day.
saw helven and some other bands..woah. i was nervous and excited. cuz the event has more crowd. it is held at central. my slot was pushed to 7.30 pm instead.

the moment i went on stage, a lot of ppl cheered. while performing, i saw some photographers taking my pix . i was quite happy la... lol.
i flung the second song, drink it down by L`arc~En~Ciel, cuz i forgot lots of the lyrics. so i kept repeating the first few verses...anyway i think i covered it up quite well..lol
cuz after performing, some of them told me that i performed quite well, looks like professional. i was like, sure boh...dun say that to comfort me..lol
i sang 'colours' again, and did nexus 4 by L`arc~En~Ciel. these 2 songs, i sang it with no problem and i like the songs! woahhh. the 2 pretty female hosts enjoyed it too..cuz i was like dancing around, trying to get ppl to wave hand together..lol

anyway. it is sure fun. and knew more friends again.
weekend was fun...haha

suddenly, somehow i felt that my purpose in life is to perform, cosplay, sing, bring joy to people through singing and dancing..lol.
hmmm..at least it will make me feel more positive bout life...lol

can't wait for more performance slots...hahahahhaa

wheeeeeee

1006

2009-06-09T21:53:00.000-07:00

been ages since i last blogged.

blogged few times offline, saved it in a copy.
being bo liao ah

10 May, sun
3.26 am

I just watched episode 42 of hitman reborn anime.
Just now bout 8 pm plus, while watching tv, stepmom asked me to go church on sun. I was fine wif it. But when she asked me to go to the bible study on Saturday, i was kind of pissed off. That means that, I haf to go for bible study on sat, and go for church service on sun, every week. Tis pisses me off. Cuz sat is reserved for my cosplay events, cosplay photoshoots, band jamming sessions or going out with friends. I didn’t want to go church at first. Den stepmom tried to convince me in going. So i literally forced myself to join her, to make her happy. And now she wants me to go for the bible study sessions, ppl of my age group, and she actually wants me to find a boyfriend, a reliable man and get married. She finds that man who are in the Christian religion takes more care of the family. Hahhaa.... now she approves me to get a bf. But sometimes i am too tired to find a bf, i dun haf the initiative to look for one. But at times, i really really wanted to have a boyfriend by my side to comfort me, esp when i feel down , and insecure. Though i always put on a happy face in front of my friends, but actually there are times that i feel very emotional and sad.
There is this guy who tried to come near me recently. But i am pushing him away. Because i don’t know him well. And i only treat him as a friend. There is no sparks of feeling. I can’t force myself to like him. Another reason is bcuz there is someone still in my heart.
Hmmm... inspiration for a new song ..lol.
Title : distance
Used to be so close
But now our distance has been pulled apart
By unknown reasons and circumstances
Under the blue sky
On the wheels of love
We sang our love song together
Our Feelings bonded so strongly
How could I forget?
(Chorus)
Is it wrong to love you?
Doubting myself every now and then
Feelings so unsecured
As promises were never given to me
Is it wrong to know you?
If I can turn back the time
I would still want to meet you
This is a song from me to you

The words you said to her
Etches deep into my heart and pulled us apart
I just can’t forget and ignore every words
Under the black sky
With the words of love
You sang the love song to her only
Both of your feelings bonded so strongly
How could I forget?
(Chorus)
Is it wrong to love you?
Doubting myself every now and then
Feelings so unsecured
As promises were never given to me
Is it wrong to know you?
If I can turn back the time
I would still want to meet you
This is a song from me to you
(song copyrighted (C) under Pearl Wong)
Lolol.... another song dedicated to some friends.. esp long lost friends. A friend whom i called, but she is busy, wif her bf. We had lost contact .............

Title : Glass Tears

What happened to the times that we used to had ?
Everything seems that it just happened yesterday
Laughing together when the times are great
Worrying together when the times are bad
Feels that our friendship is so fragile
It breaks easily under your touch
You are so far away
Even though you are now standing in front of me
(chorus)
Convinced myself that friends come and go
Feels that no matter how hard I try
It is of no use
How could one easily forget the times we had?
How could one easily say things that hurt people?
Words that cut like knife
Hurts everyone around you
I know that it is not the real you
If you were to stretch out your arms
I will be here to take it and guide you through the dark path

(song copyrighted (C) under Pearl Wong)

Wooh.......... my inspiration is now flowing like water...yap ... in the middle of the night. lol
It is now 4.19 am. Tis is the last song for the day.
Dedicated to my real mom, who abandoned me 20 years ago. It is now mother’s day. Though i will be celebrating wif my stepmom, but i will never forget my real mom. How i wish i could see her in real person..and give her a tight slap. Lol...
Title : Embryo
Toys scattered on the floor
The little baby crying, famished
Woman on the bed slept whole night
Father said,
“It’s time to feed the child”

The couple sitted at the table
The little toddler climbed through the door, smiling
Wanted to hug the mother
Mother said,
“It’s time for me to leave”

The pretty woman walked down the corridor
The little toddler followed her, wailing her name
The woman stopped and turns back
She said,
“Call me sister.”

(Chorus)
How could one turn back against one another so easily?
Temptations in the world is so strong
Tempts one walk down the path of darkness
Forever and they are gone
Vanish Into the air
Without a trace

(song copyrighted (C) under Pearl Wong)
4.38 am liao....lol. gtg sleep liao...oyasumi nasai ~~~~

-_______________----------------------------______________________-

ah whatever la.. i am now used to church session on sun. mentally prepared that i will miss out lots of cosplay events tis year.. sigh.

i want to go for photoshoot again!!
ahrgh... life is so boring without cosplay and band..

inspiration

2009-05-04T03:56:00.000-07:00

New song that i came up wif today.
Haven’t thought of the melody yet.. no inspiration currently.

Title – (to be confirmed)

Familiar faces
Feelings changed
You feel different to me
As compared to months ago
Why would one change so fast
Everybody changing
Everybody so fake
Should ignore the feelings that you gave me
Been trying to convince myself
But couldn’t
Been trying to suppress the feelings
But it exploded
With just one touch of your love

[inspiration block .............argh. continue it some other time instead]

Today i am so hardworking...dunno why.. been busy working, occupied wif stuffs for the whole day.
Yawn..and i am blogging several times within one day..lol

4 may 2009

2009-05-03T23:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday went to celebrate shiroro’s bday . ate ramen at ajisen, at plaza singapura. We bought cake for her and some of us gave her presents. I gave her a cubik cube, wif diagrams of doraemon. She will haf a fun time playing wif it, turn here turn there, and solving it. Lol. Tis is a fun game, as compared to online games. As it will help to train the brain skills, and analysing skills. ..mwahahaha.. great toy to give. XD
Den we went to arcade, zone x and play games. Played ddr wif Jamie, wah...so tiring , but fun. XD
Den i played the jubeat wif maverick. My first time playing jubeat la...my eyes almost go haywire, see so many screens and words. My reaction is not so fast yet... but i can play level 4 song leh..haha
Work is as normal.. it is getting better. Tryin my best to do the correct things at work..
Like the song by 12012, Lovers. The lyrics is meaningful, to me. And the melody is nice. It is emotional, sad song. It seems to be talking about a loved one passing away, or a breakup between a couple. I like wataru vocals in this song , as compared to the song “want, want, want”. His voice speaks of emotion, and is trying to convey the sad emo feeling. Everytime when i listen to this song, i will feel emo , lol ... >_< . and i will think of him.

LOVERS

When will the day be, i wonder?
The dream that I saw
That was torn
That was forgotten
When was it from, I wonder?
A path created
Walking from the beginning
Continuing to hesitate...
When was the first time, I wonder?
There was laughter
That was split
That overflowed
Meeting you
You are loved worrying about you
Being taken
Only tenderness can save everything
Even if i realised i am losing...
I am already accepting it
I can’t do it
You will not turn back anymore
(chorus)
*dearly beloved...dearly beloved..
I asked about the future
To be created by you and me
Nothing will come true, nothing will come true
The truth of the future
To be completed by you and me.

A cold body
Eyes closed
Dry skin
The usual you
A silent night
A silent you
Your usual way of leaving the room
The picture of you just remains unchanged
The way you laugh, i wonder
Eyes closing... if I listen carefully..
You are laughing
Too transient, too transient
One life
Memories seared into these eyes
Without lies, without lies
The truth of the future
In these hands, surely i will catch hold of it
Warmth...warmth...
In the future i believed..
Intertwines you and I
*dearly beloved...dearly beloved...dearly beloved..
You , who is not turning back..
Dearly beloved...dearly beloved...
You seem to be disappearing...in heartrending sorrow

2.29 am

2009-05-03T23:07:00.000-07:00

3 may 2009
2.29 am

Currently talking with aiki, ozora, shiroro and reiko on the phone. Doing conference call.
They are talking about blogspots and pretty girls ...lol. make me feel like blogging in the middle of the nite. Make me feel like posting up my pix. Haha...got some camwhore pix and cosplay pix that i have compiled. Some pix here..lol bo liao...
Organised a solo photoshoot, cosplaying as toshiya from dir en grey. (jrock cosplay)
The weather was hot during the photoshoot. I kept sweating like hell and the sweat washed off my makeup. After i post up the pix at sgcafe, there are lots of comments and feedback. Mostly is comments that i did good job. But i personally think that there is room for improvement. But there is two persons who flame me , and said that i did a bad cosplay of toshiya. I felt sad and disappointed. But the thing that surprised me is that, there are ppl who actually stand out and spoke up for me, and rebuked the flamers. I thank those ppl who spoke up for me, encouraged me to continue cosplay. ^^

Yawn..goona sleep soon liao ^^
Tml goin to church session wif mom, den go to shiroro’s birthday celebration . bought a present for her. It’s a cube , wif all sides of different colours. Hope that she like it.

singapore idol audition?

2009-05-03T23:06:00.001-07:00

Sis wanted to go to Singapore idol audition and asked me along. it is june. I am not so keen to join.
As i am not so fluent in English songs. But my sis sings English songs better den me.
I am better in Chinese and Japanese songs

Mayb i’ll just go wif her, and see whether can get to the semi finals, den i will purposely lose.
Cuz i want to join aiki band and go for next year super band competition.
My guitar skill is average, so i will join aiki band as vocalist. As i haf confidence in singing well.

Den let my sister win the Singapore idol. And i shall win the superband next year..lol
But i am not sure whether aiki can make it or not. Cuz she said that she is worried that she can’t make it, cuz of her guitar standard.
I really hope that our band can make it.
So far only got 3 of us, aiki on guitar, me on vocals and guitar, haruki on bass.
Hope to find a drummer and one more guitarist, better to find a pro guitarist who can teach us and lead us..

Where the hell can i find one?!!!!!??
Omg

27 april

2009-04-26T22:14:00.000-07:00

Just watched vidoll pv, the song is cryptic Tokyo.
Ooh..jui is cuute ^^ . he is da vocalist.
Lately i am listening to vidoll’s songs.
It sounds melodic and yet heavy. Some of the songs is quite catchy eg. Blue star, cryptic Tokyo (like the chorus!)

Previously was listening to 12012 songs..my fav song is Lovers!
Argh! I like that song.. it makes me feel very emo and sing along wif emotions.
Omg..lol XD

Rite now, i am working.. ya. Blogging while working.
Bleh.. i am not supposed to do that. But hey, as long as i complete the work given, it is still fine.

Hmmm... i miss that cute guy.
Lololol
Wad the hell
Ah.. nvm . i get over things quite fast.
I keep telling my self that he just treats me as a friend
It will be alright. And i hope that we can still stay as good friends. I dun waana lose him as a friend... waills..

Last weekend went cycling wif Jamie, shiroro, ozora, kagami and naoya.
It was tiring but fun la!
We went tto the arcade, and played DDR. Naoya and Jamie played together.
Naoya is damn pro la... both of them got tired out before we cycle la.
Den we cycle from east coast till changi beach.
I fell down once cuz i bumped into jamie’s bicycle. She was going quite slowly , while i was going quite fast.
I fell down and my left leg slamped onto the floor and my left hand instantly slamp on the floor , to stop my self from rolling further down the road.
In the end, i got a bit abrasion on my left hand and left leg.
But it is better now.
Den we cycled back from change beach , back to east coast, had dinner.
Den go to play DDR again la.
Naoya and Jamie just wants to keep playing the game la..i was very tired liao. Only played one game wif them.

Too bad that everyone went a different way wif me. Haiz.
They all had to go mrt together. While i took a straight bus home alone, different direction from them.
Felt a bit lonely and sian....

Yesterday stayed at home, sewing cosplay costume while watching hitman reborn anime.
Shiok ah... watched ep 5 to ep 17 only..
Took a break in between , buy dinner, took a bath, sewed costume.
Yeah hoooooo...sewed the design for the DOA bikini shoot.

Yawn...today will be another busy day..
Lunch time!

chiong ah chiong ah chiong

2009-04-26T06:42:00.000-07:00

Been weeks since i last blogged.

Last week chiong the ‘air gear’ anime. Damn shiok!
A friend gave me a link. I download the player from that site, and den dl the anime shows, den even after i got offline, i can still watch the anime. Yesh!!
Great!
Chiong the anime within 4 days. Feeeels great.
Den now dling hitman reborn anime . dling the show while doin work.. lol.

Been busy for these few days at work.
Cuz the accounts woman is quitting next month, and boss is asking us for some reports. So we are rushing as many things as we can.
Been working till 8 pm...omg la
And my pay is cut by $200. Omfg!!
Boss wants to cut some of our pay due to the economic recession. At least i still haf my job la..
I need da money, to give mom, to give sis, for her school fee, and for me to buy food to eat
Been starving for past few weeks la...gosh

Someone confessed to me last week and i pushed him away
I told him over the sms,
Do not waste your time on me. You will find someone better than me.

Dunno why,, lately i have been pushing many guys away
Trying to isolate myself from all the love things
Not much interest nowadays to look for a bf
And tt stupid fella keeps telling me , to go look for a bf, and plan to get married, and he wants to come to my wedding. And he planned for me nicely for my wedding and kids plan..wad the hell
Stupid fella....don’t u get it.... *smack his tummy*

Ah anyway.... I have thought about it through.. we shall be good friends forever
We both know we treat each other as good friends
Hey! Why not?!!
It is better to stay as friends, den to progress to become couple
And we can talk lots of rubbish stuffs. We wouldn’t feel weird wif each other either..
But sometimes, i wonder, wad will happen if he really confess to me ?
Erm...push him away , like wad i do to other guys?
Hmm... i dunno leh..omg la...*kicks wall*
Sometimes i feel like hugging him & pouting, just like any normal gals will do to their bf la.. ahhhhhhhhhh wtf..

Relaaaaaax...Everything will be fine

If he finds a girlfriend whom he like, i’ll wish him luck and happy for him, from the bottom of my heart...
^^
God bless him.

Oh yeah. I haf become a Christian liao!
All thx to my step mom
I was unwilling to become Christian at first place
I am trying to accept Christ in my heart..
Hmmm

Lately didn’t spend much time on doing cosplay costume
Been spending time on guitar practice and vocal practice and watching anime
Gosh
Need to buck up
The next shoot is in june. The dead or alive extreme beach shoot.
Bikini shoot!!
First time having such shoot la..wahhahaa
Excited and nervous lo
Never had sexy bikini shoot
Though i dun haf big breasts, but i am sure i can pull off the cosplay quite well..yeah!
I am doing as ayane , purple hair
Getting the wig from my friend next month
Yesh!

Yah..and tt friend is in my Devil may cry photoshoot..
Saw her at the kurobara event
She is pretty la!!! She did the sherine (did i spell correctly ?) cosplay from macros frontier anime
I didn’t watch tt anime, so i dunno the character
And she is going to cosplay as Nero from DMC ..wooh.
Can’t wait to see her and the rest for the dmc shoot..
So excited tis year

I also joined the clamp photoshoot which will be few months later
I haf been thinking of cosplaying as ashura from rg veda
This is gonna be tough!
Cuz ashura is very pretty. And no body did that cosplay before in sg. So i haf less references. But there is westerner cosplay who did that cosplay before, and they rocks ! cool !!
And i figured out how to do the costume liao..
It is actually quite easy to sew it
Just that it will be a long dress instead
And the long pointed ears
First time doing pointed ears cosplay
I am goinna make it!
Whooooooooooo wheeeeeeeeeee

chionging katekyou hitman reborn anime today. shiok ah!
still dling more episodes.. ^^ heeee ^^

few weeks ago....

2009-04-15T01:21:00.000-07:00

Boss is in Malaysia, touring with his family members. He’s not in office.
It’s more relaxing in the office.lol
But the Filipina colleague is still making ppl feel tense, cuz of her actions . she will suddenly slam things, den walk away or sit down on her desk. Kns
Weird woman
Yesterday, she stood up and walked few steps, den she said loudly, “it’s so quiet. Hmm.”
Den she slam her hand on my colleague’s table.
I thought she knocked into it.
I turn back and asked my colleague after the Filipina woman walked to the toilet.
His face is blur and does not know wad happen.
Stupid woman...

Anyway.. aiiki went to gentings for few days and will be back on Wednesday. Sian ah.. nobody to conference call at nite.
Boring..
Den my step sister is goin to gentings wif her godmother and her nanny side relatives, as she is quite close to them. I am not that close to them. Cuz they took care of my sister when she was young.
She is going on Wednesday early morning, will be back on sat nite.
So, i haf few peaceful days..lol. lucky, aiki is comin back on wed. So i can’t conference talk every nite, without anyone disturbing me.
However, my step mom will be at home..
Gosh..talkin bout her makes me feel so stressed

Last week, she asked me to go church with her. My first reaction is to say no, and said, “can i dun go?”
Well... at least she didn’t force me to go church with her , but she is forcing people to accept Christian.
She is turning towards Christianity now, and not Buddhism anymore. She has awoken from the Buddhist religious life, and realise that it does not help her at all. She find tt God can lead her, can guide her. Whatever la... she like it, she can go for it. But i dun want. I used to be in catholic school, though my family is Buddhist. But i dun mind, and i convert to catholic in sec school. But i didn’t go church for years! Anyway..i think it is best to stay as freethinker. Hahah

Den last sun, my step mom ask me, ‘’do u know why i want u to accept Christian, and listen to these preachings?” (she was playing one of those Christian teachings/preachings cd)
Den she continued, “ cuz i want YOU to pray to GOD and pray for a good MARRIAGE. Dun be like me.”

Den my expression was like 0_o
Oh really?!? Marriage ? u want me to get married?
Woah.. tt is a big change in her.
Last time, she used to say.
“There is no need to get married. I will not force you to get married. Being in a marriage is not easy. You have to take care of the family, your husband and your kids. Sometimes kids are very troublesome and hard to teach and discipline. As for your husband, he may get a outside affair. Wad for getting married? It’s k if you dun get married, as long as you can support yourself, and having your own career. That will do. Men are not anything worth it.”

And now, she wants me to get married, haf a good husband. Wah... wth is going on in her mind.
As for me, i am not really getting married. Cuz i have not find the right one.
Takes time bah .... and i enjoy life of being single ..hahaha

Last last fri, 6 march, had a solo photoshoot. One of my friend, wenjin sent me his pix, the pix was not photoshopped. Both of us do not know how to photoshop. So, the pix tt i posted on the forum was raw pix! Lol
A lot of ppl viewed it and gave comments.
My make up was not strong enough, not thick enough. The weather was shoo hot la, i kept sweating , and thus washed away my makeup. And i didn’t retouch.
At least i learnt something from this photoshoot. I haf to keep retouching up, otherwise i’ll look so plain..argggh!

Jamie is the first time goin for photoshoot. So she didn’t really know how to take pix, so it’s all rite. and Darren came too.. he has a DSLR camera! And he is quite pro too. He posted one of the pix , he photoshopped it, and it looks emo indeed..lol
I liked tt pix. There are other several pix tt i like too.. ^^
Still waiting for more of his pix... hahah..can’t wait. It’s been a year since i last had a photoshoot. The last photoshoot tt i had was like in year 2007. I had few photoshoots, but was taken wif friends. Only one time was being held in a photo studio..woah..tt was fun and great experience. Most of the time was held outdoors.

I am tempted to organise a monthly shoots, wearing my old costumes. Cuz last fri of the month, my company let us off work early at 4.30 pm. So i thought of goin for photoshoot, in the late afternoon, evening. As the sun is not so glaring, so i wouldn’t be sweating much..lol.
i listed out my costumes and realised tt i haf so many costumes .. haha. And i am tempted to sew more cosplay costumes..wahahaha. can’t wait to get a sewing machine, so i can sew faster!
Being boliao..bored.. office connection is down, can’t surf the net, so i listed down my costumes while waiting for connection to come back..

1. Kuuhaku Shiba – firework master(bleach anime – first hand sewn costume. For SOY 2009 and various small cosplay events in 2007, 2008)
2. Izumi sawatari/ Anna Kuraichi – maid costume (2nd hand sewn costume. He is My master anime. For cosfest 2007)
3. Megumi Yuasa - guitarist (Blaue rosen manga. Ordered from tailor. Joined a cosplay group. For cosfest 2008)
4. Ruki from The Gazette (Jrock cosplay. Own black pants, painted red words on a white top. Lol. Very easy to do. Biggest sacrifice is to cut my hair damn short like Ruki la. But i lurv it! ^^)
5. Aoi, from The Gazette (Jrock cosplay. Own black pants tt i worn for ruki cosplay too..lol.. bought a similar white top. Painted the buttons black. Sewed black arm warmer and bough black chiffon as a wrapover skirt. Cut my hair short again! But i cut aoi’s hairstyle in cassis pv.lol)
6. Asagi, from D(Jrock cosplay. Own black pants tt i worn for ruki cosplay too.lol. bought a white coat from friend, and cut and sew to my size. I left my hair long for this cosplay. Sewed a big black satin tie.)
7. Tenma Ai, Jigoku Shoujo. (bought it from Haru. But i nvr officially wore it to cosplay event. Cuz i dun have the proper wig and red lense.)
8. Lady, from Devil may cry 4 game. (my friend is doin the weapon for me..was lucky to walk past G2000 brand sale, and bought a similar white top. Yeah. Got a white shorts from This Fashion.lol. sewed the brown mini vest, by cutting my own brown coat. Re-used the buckles from Aoi cosplay, for Lady’s buckles on her legs. Sewed brown cloth over my own black waist pouch, and sewed a second black waist pouch. Took me 2 weeks to complete. Took me the longest time to prepare.. most expensive item is the boots, cost me SGD$130. but i like it . a lot of ppl like my boots whenever i wore it out..hee.. used my own hair for the cosplay. great ^^)
9. Toshiya, from Dir en grey (jrock cosplay. Bought it from a cosplayer staying in macau. Fell in love wif the costume the moment i saw it. Couldn’t resist the temptation to buy it..lol)

^^

speechless

2009-03-14T04:23:00.000-07:00

woh hoh...
so many things happened again..
last sat went to wild wild wet wif jamie and gackt.
though it was fun, but i still feel bit weird.
cuz i felt like a 'lightbulb' la..dian deng pao..
later at nite, jamie sms me and confess to me tt she and gackt is together.
i was like wtf..0_o
somehow i could sense it on fri nite, when we meet up for dinner.
cuz on last fri, i had a solo photoshoot, jamie came along, as she wanted to take pix for me.
after tt, she told me tt gackt is coming. den i started to find it weird, how come everytime gackt looks for her and contact her, instead of me. so i kind of suspect it. den after our dinner and shopping around, gackt sent her to mrt. i topped up my ezlink card, den i find it faster to take mrt , den to take bus. so , i took mrt instead. den i saw gackt still standing next to her, when actulaly his mrt has come. and he did not take tt trip. i told him tt his mrt trip has arrived, he told me tt he is sending her back home. den i was like 0_o ahhhhhhh.. i smell a rat.

on sat, we went to wild wild wet, played the slides, and swam. had fun la.. but i feel bit weird.
the actions tt gackt carried out, implies tt he is interested in jamie. so , i strongly suspect tt they are together. i observed tt, there is few times tt gackt tried to hold her hands, or even touch her.. haiz guys ahr..*facepalms*
at nite, jamie told me bout it , when i and her was smsing each other. though i was angry tt she did not tell me few weeks ago, but there is nothing i can do. cuz he was the one who initiatted it. he just suddenly treat her like a gf, and asked her to be his gf la. i was like wtf.. i was speechless... speechless.. dunno wad to say... cried

and i know tt feelings cannot be forced. so, i dun wanna force him la.
and due to the age gap, i kind of know tt it is impossible between us.
wadever, .. i dun wanna care bout him anymore.
but most imptly, he dun mistreat jamie. kns
if not, i will go after him and skin him alive.
and it is not worth it, to fight wif jamie over him.
he is not worth it

feelin sad and disappointed
when i was on the phone wif ozora, i couldn't help it but to cry. i dunno y... i was just too disapppointed wif myself and him and everything..sad.. angry
wadever la knn ccb sbdl..

for tis week. my cousin passed away. he committed suicide, hang himself.gosh.
and he is my age la! but he is older den me by few months.
he is young and promising, but he chosed to commit suicide.
my sis and mom kept debating on his commit suicide actions la... wth

boss is on leave since last thur, till next next week. next week, he is going to jakarta, for biz trip.
yeah!! he is not around.. at least i feel more relaxed la..phew. not so stressed ...hahaha

just now , i haf just finished sewing the brown waist pouch for my cosplay at cosfest event. yeah! i still need to sew one more waist pouch, den i will proceed to do the boots cover for my cosplay costume. after tt, i will sew the silver stripes on the white coat. can't wait for the event.. cosplaying as lady from Devil may cry 4 game... hahaha... i think i am the first Lady cosplayer in singapore la...hahaha.. and i can't wait to see my ''dante'' tooo... hope tt he is handsome ah..lol
i just cut my hair last month, for the fun of it. and cuz i wanna spike it.. and i didn't realise tt this hairstyle is so versatile la!!
i can put down the hair, add in long black hair extension, to cosplay as toshiya from dir en grey. i received the costume tt i order from bright zanya liao! had the photoshoot last fri.. yippee! the result was k la... jamie came and took pix. my poly friend, darren came too. den wenjin came too. lol. only received pix from wenjin so far.. some of the pix looks not bad... but in some pix, i really look kns.. cannot make it siah.. cuz of my face shape la... my face is chubby la... only look good from certain angle.. den jamie said tt i looked more like hiroki from D (the drummer from D group, asagi group ah)..wth

i can oso spike up my hair and cosplay as Lady from DMC4 leh! wahhh! didn't expect tt tis new hairstyle is shoooo cool la. i no need to buy wig liao..haha.
i cut tis hairstyle only for $10!! so cheap and yet so nice!
a lot of ppl cannot recognize me after i cut my hair.. hahah.. feels great.

lately got to know more friends from sgcafe forum... den there is tis group of friends, we often haf conference call at nite.. bit bo liao..but fun la..haha >_< . they are ozora (laughs veri loud), shiroro (nice gal), aiiki (haf a supper cuuute voice la), elias (funny guy), raygondra (pretty gal), stanley (he is acting damn gay la! but he is not a gay..) and etc etc etc...
we often chat till 2 to 3 am plus liao..till everybody is so tired and go to sleep, den we will put down the phone. they are a group of funny friends la... great to know them. at least i dun feel so stressed being wif them.. i feel veri relaxed ! and fun!
we often meet up on sat, and go out together. sat is meant to be relaxing and fun la.. esp after working so tired on weekdays. haha >_<
too bad i didn't join them today for the movie outing.. hmm. will join them next week den.

as for the gal band thing..dammit.. lolikitty called me on thur, and told me tt the band is disbanded. they are facing some members commitment issues and fan issues. i was like ...hah.. 0_O fan issues ?!???!! O_O wtf is tt.. wadever.. they are stopping currently la.. they will ask me to join them, if they are getting back together again.. i was like...da ma de.
on tt thur, i brought my guitar out, cuz i wanted to take guitar lessons from ken. but last min, akimme told me tt the lesson is cancelled as ken is half dead. 0_0 ?!???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
half dead ? wad's tt supposed to mean ..
mayb he is really tired from his own stuffs bah..wtf
wadever i am disappointed by them la.
on the phone, i told lolikitty tt i am serious bout tis band, and tt i am disappointed after she told me tt. she said tt she is disappointed too.. ah . fuck la.. ma de . cheee byeeeeeee

i am feelin si bei du lan la... after so many things happened. disappointed by so many ppl and fucking things la...

nvm. i'll just stick to my current band and wait for them to finish exams, den we will start jamming together again.. ahh... i miss my members la.. T____T

meanwhile, i'll gambate gambate all the way!! must practice more on my singing!

busy busy

2009-02-27T00:33:00.000-08:00

Been long time since i last blogged.
A lot of things happened.

For the cute guy that i like for 1 year..he finally knew i like him few weeks ago. Bcuz i been hinting him lately, den he suspect tt i like him. He confided in my friend ( Gal E), gal E knew bout our case. She asked me, wad should she say, she didn’t want us to break the friendship. I finally got the courage to tell him that I like him, but i know that he only treat me as a friend. Den he told me that we can only be friends, but not together, and that he would like to go out with me again for outings. He didn’t tell me, bcuz he wanted to maintain our friendship in current status. At least he don’t hate me..that’s great. Just feeling very disappointed.

But now i am feeling much better already, as some of our friends know bout it, they kept comforting me. But i kept telling them that I am all right, i will be strong, they dun have to worry for me. I ended up comforting that instead. Irony ....lol. although I am still single, but my life is great.haha

My current band members are all busy studying for exams and tests, so there is no jamming lately. Getting bored.. itching for jamming session.
Yesterday while on face book, i came across one of my friend’s photos. The 3 girls took a pix together and 1 was holding a bass guitar, the other holding an electric guitar. I was kinda shock. Den they stated that they looking for guitarist. And they are a girl band! Wah liao. I finally found a girl band la. Still so excited bout it... i haf the bassist number, cuz we know each other for quite long. I only know the drummer and bassist, as we are friends. But i dunno the vocalist..only saw her pix. Hope to meet up with them soon. ^^

giggles giggles ^^

2009-02-05T03:04:00.000-08:00

Been a long time since i blogged.
Lots of things happend lately.
The happy thing that happen on me, is i finally met the guy whom i like last year.lol
We saw each other at SP open house, talked for awhile, den he went off.
The next event is the street festival 2008 . he was dressed up very stylo, hair spiked, wore a black coat and pants, unzipped his zip of the ... coat till his chest area.
I was startled and .... attracted..lol . anyway got to meet him last sat at the soya event, start of year cosplay event.
Hahaha..i was so happy when i met him.
Before the event, we were already chatting at the forum almost everyday.
Hmmph... we’ll be friends first.. let nature take its course den..

Wahhaahahah..but i just couldn’t control myself for fallin in love..omg. i think he just treat me as a friend la..nvm. being friends is fine wif me...
But i just couldn’t resist the fact tt i like him..omg la..and he is younger den me!! Aghhhh! I am goin crazy lately , partly due to work too..
Just the thought of him makes me feel so happy... arghhhh.... but i dun dare to confess la... omg.. i am getting so shy lately. I dunno why.......argh
and it seems tt he is interested in me too...hee *giggling like mad*

Work is sucky man
Lately cuz of the foreign pass thing, i wanted to process it faster and get it approve fast.
However the faster i tried to do it, the more mistakes i make.
So i gotta be more careful.

toshiya ...

2009-01-14T19:11:00.000-08:00

on tuesday, i was surfin around at sgcafe, the cosplay market.
i was lookin throught the costumes for fun. den i saw a toshiya costume
i was like
OMG!! I WANT TT!
it cost $135 , including shipping, consists of whole set of clothes. no socks and shoes included.
den the person selling it (bright zanya) even gave a free wig extension
wah! good lobang!
i am tempted to cosplay toshiya , after i see tt costume.
cuz i lazy to do costumes nowadays ..
need to sew the waist pouch for cosfest(lady from dmc), but lazy ahh

anyway i ordered the toshiya costume liao. it is his outfit in the gauze album..wheeee
first time doing dir en grey cosplay ...
for the shoes, i'll just wear my own black platform boots, with a pair of black socks will do..haha
i doin it for streetfest 09.
if my band is performing for streetfest, i think i will be wearing it too.haha. that will be coool la

the costume
[IMG]http://i32.photobucket.com/albums/d46/vogue_ace/Dir%20En%20Grey/toshiyagauzecostume.jpg[/IMG]
tt is bright zanya ..she's coool ah.
can't wait to receive the costume next month.
wahhaha..next month after getting pay and new year money, it'll be good ah.

happy new year!

2009-01-01T18:11:00.000-08:00

haha.
happy new year!!
2009 will be a year full of events for me.

celebrate with family and relatives at grandma house. they are the relatives at my stepmom side.
we ate lots of food, pizza, fried noodles, sushi platter!! wahhhh! yummy!
sang ktv.
but i not in the mood to sing , cuz there is a computer. i use it to watch youtube videos..wahaha. watchin the jrock videos.
anyway, i hope that this year will be better.
save more money
make my own cosplay costumes
maybe get 1 more dollfie
sew some more new dollfie clothes for my boy and girl, and maybe sell some
more jrock gigs for my band to perform
work goes smoothly and good
hahahahaaa...

i am looking forward tml jamming session ...heee

30 dec

2009-01-01T18:10:00.000-08:00

30 dec. 8.54 pm
Last sat, went jamming with band members. A sessionist drummer joined us, his drum skills is not bad. To me la. He knows the beat and tempo well. Except for one part of the velvet song by alice nine. The lead guitarist wanted to join the NUS band performance, and just nice, our rhythm guitarist is from NUS. So we can join the performance. Yeah heh.
And i was quite surprised to join this group.
I was looking around at sgcafe forum, lookin for a band to join. Left few messages in some thread. Den tis lead guitarist came into the forum and saw my posts, so he pm me. And so i decided to join him. I decided to join for fun .
All of them are guys.
Ah well.
Most ppl in band are mostly guys
Wadever, i just join for the fun, not cuz of anyone
Wad surprises me is that, each of them knows how to play 2 instruments!
I was surprised la
I had thoughts before, of havin members who can play 2 instruments, so that we can play different instrument for fun and to surprise ppl.
Out of the blue, i was sooo surprised and didn’t expect really to find such members.
Gosh
The lead guitarist can play both guitar and drums.
For our first jamming session, (after i join them la), the drummer is not in sg, (back in Thailand to celebrate with his family). So the lead guitarist play the drum for the songs. He is quite steady. He knows the song well. Cooool

Den the bassist can play drums too, but he is not so pro as compared to the lead guitarist la. But at least he knows how to play the basics.
We played riyuu. When the bassist plays the drum, the lead guitarist plays the guitar part.

For the rhythm guitarist,..woo . he can play the keyboard. He used to be a keyboardist. And now he changed to guitarist role. He can play the guitar part well too.

As for me, i only know how to play guitar. But not so pro la. But for the song, i for you, by luna sea, i had to listen carefully to the rhythm guitarist part. His tempo and notes is correct. And he kept looking at me, and wanted to know whether did he played correctly. Though i do not have the chords for the song, but i can hear that he played it correctly. Cuz i kept looking at his playing for most of the time. The bassist and lead guitarist is still fine.

Oh ya.. they are all xjapan crazy la. The cute rhythm guitarist played the keyboard, played the song ‘silent jealousy’ . den the lead guitarist went to the drums, and played the drums part. I was likeo_0 wtf...lol. the guys are funny and friendly.
The session drummer can play keyboard too. He played the silent jealousy song too. I was like ...jaws dropping la.. lol
I told a friend who is in a band, he told me to hold on to them and keep up with them. Ya..really. they make me feel motivated, make me feel like continue striving hard , and keep practice on my vocals and guitar.

Oh yeah... the rhythm guitarist is the cutest..lol la..haha. ahh liao. When he was playing the keyboard, he played ‘endless tears’, ‘rain’. Upon hearing it, it made me feel like joining in to sing. But it was too high. I almost died on the spot! And i kept laughing, out of paiseh la... cuz too high la... ah liao. The lead guitarist also joined in singing , for the fun of it. Den the drummer joined in, by playing the drums. The bassist played abit only. At that moment, i could feel there is the mo qi, the bond that all members have, by joining in for the song together.

Den, the cute handsome rhythm guitarist kept looking at me while playin keyboard. I was like 0_o ,,,, u should concentrate on playin keyboard la..dun look at me liddat leh..i veriii shy..
I dunno why,,, i just got so shy la..omg. weird for me to say i am shy ah....wah liaoooo

Anyway, i look forward to the NUS audition and performance and next week jamming session. ^^

One thing to keep me motivated in life. ^^

ruby

2008-12-30T03:56:00.000-08:00

well... now i am havin dinner at kfc, at thomson plaza.
i work till 7 plus today.
didnt want to go home so early.
dun want to see stepmom face at home . sian
last nite , she nag at me again over a small thing.
nag is still fine. den she slap me on my face.
i was stunned, and scared, and angry.
i stared at her angrily.
she kept sayin tt i did not do things the way she expect.
she has high expectation, keeps demanding things from me.
her daughter, aka my stepsis advised me to move out , cuz she keeps seeing me kena punishment from stepmom.over small little mistakes. but stepmom face is distorted when she is scolding me.
i was thinkin, hey, this is just a small thing, must you give such punishment, must u give such sarcastic remarks.
she also said worse things to her own daughter (my step sis ).

sometimes i really dunno how to react
but one thing for sure, i want to make her and ppl who go against me, regret for wad they say, and make them suffer.
i want revenge

sometimes, i think, mayb i should not get a bf
i am not suitable to fall in love
i should not get a bf
but, at times, i really do hope that there is someone special there waiting for me

kept crying for past few days
dunno why
i keep feelin so insecure
i dun haf the sense of security
i really dunno wad i should do
-______________-______________________-___________________-

Ruby

brown eyes staring in front
cold wind blowing against the cheeks
with the sky in front of you
within your arms reach

red eyes turning back down
hot wind evaporates from the body
with the floor against your back
swallowing your soul down

down into the hell
hell of the place where
where all sinful souls
souls which screamed endlessly
endlessly into the night

(chorus)

all the memories in my heart
keep you here alive
all the tears in my eyes
burns your night alive
you always see me in your dream
with my black wings spread open
ready to receive you any time
you can't escape

-_______________---_________________---______________
copyrighted (C) property of acev.

(note : once a content, song, story is being written and published, it is considered a copyrighted content.)

summary

2008-12-22T01:43:00.000-08:00

been long time since i last posted.
went for the EOY 2 weeks ago. quite fun.
met up with lots of old and new friends. almost couldn't recognize some cosplayers cuz they are dressed so differently.i went in asagi outfit. it was not bad la. some ppl can recognize me in that . hahamet up with jamie and went there together. she look pretty in her black gothic lolita dress. but she is quite shy, when ppl request to take her photo.
after everything, i met up with neez and some other friends, and went to bugis junction for dinner.
last week, celebrated my birthday with family at home. ate cake, pizza hut, watch tv, chat. at least not bad la. in afternoon, went jamming with new band members. their skill is not bad. everyone get along quite well.
fri night, went to colleague house for housewarming and mini xmas party.haha. we sang ktv lo.
on sat, went to project breakout gig. it was quite fun, meeting up with some friends there. enjoyed some of the music, cuz the speaker is veri loud. omg la.
on sun, went to the haru workshop, which features on elegant gothic aristocrat (ega) and elegant gothic lolita (EGL) fashion. oso shared some knowledge on makeup tips and etiquettes. at least i went there, we had a small photoshoot and had afternoon tea, at Lawry prime ribs. the restuarant food is expensive. but we only paid $15 previously and was able to enjoy the dessert and drinks. the atmosphere is veri nice.. will post up the pix after i found my cable for my camera. i dunno where i put the camera usb cable..gosh. and i took so mannny pix .
tis fri is xmas gathering with poly friends, most of my good friends are from poly. from our life arts cca club. grace has come back to singapore from australia. she is taking degree course there. she is back and having her holiday now..aww.missed her.. my long time friend. knew her for 4 years already..
last week, broke up with my bf.
sigh
i could say , it's all my fault.
and he is seriously angry over everything
he tell me not to look for him anymore, it's over.
he kept repeating that.finelet him regret for what he sayanyway, if i am really such a hassle to him, i should let him go.
i am sure he can find someone againbut i dunno..
i was heartbroken..cried everynite
miss him
stillwanted to look for him again , and talk bout it seriously
hope that he will change his mind but he wouldn't de
called him twice on that nite
he rejected the call twice
tot that after he calm down, maybe we can still talk
but it looks like there is no more room for discussion
no more chance given
anyway it's over already..

life still haf to go on , no matter what

new blog sites

2008-12-04T17:39:00.000-08:00

tadah...
finally oso post up some sites that i discovered. esp the site for dl jrock and some korean songs. the korean song site was recommended to me by a new friend, whom i get to know thru soft forum.

and he is still studying in sec school!! omg la
i read his blog . his blog is a music blog, updating ppl on the local music events. at first, i thought he is either a poly student or someone working. however, he is still in sec school! tt surprises me. and i am glad to find another music lover too.

i always like to search for new site and surf and get some music or pix ..haha. haf lots of sites in my fav list..bleh..

this mornin, my stepmom told me to help her out at her booth during this weekend. she have a booth at a travel companies fair . ah liao... i dun want to go and help leh.. can't she and her colleagues do it ? she even ask my sis to help ask around sis's friend, whoever needs a job on the weekend. den mom ordered me to cancel all my appointments for this weekend, just to go and help her out . wa liaooo..i dun want to go at all . den i thinnk, i haf no appointment tis weekend, only for sun, my filipine colleagues haf moved to new house and is staying together.so they invited us to go to their house for housewarming . den mom said tt no need to go, no need to do this type of nonsense thing. wa kaooo.... she dun haf to comment so sarcastically, rite..some more she said tt early in da mornin..kns. i was in a hurry to go off work, and i want to shut her mouth, so i said, k. anyway, i got no events tis weekend. luckily her event is tis weekend. cuz next weekend, is EOY cosplay event! yeah!
i rather slack at home to watch anime and do my cosplay costume, den to go and help her out at her booth. i find it stressing to work with her. worked in her company before. wa liaooooo... tt's why i never ever want to work in her company. i dun like to dabble in family biz thing..

wadever ..
time to go back work and find some new sites to surf..

things for sale

2008-12-04T02:45:00.000-08:00

finally after so long.. i finally set up a blog to sell my stuffs.
http://vodkaonicemiscz.blogspot.com/

fellow friends and ppl who happen to pass by, can click to see the products that i am selling.hahaha

anyway la, i have not yet post up any pictures. cuz haf not take pix of those products!! omg la. this weekend, i will be busy.taking photos of the products and posting it up.

i want da money for daily expenses, so tt i haf enough money to eat, and to buy stuffs for home (when family member ask me to buy stuff for home). and i want some extra money to buy clothes for my dollfies.. i want to go the doll affair and at least buy 1 new dress for my gal tiara. i am actually thinking of forcing myself to stay at home for the TDA event, so i wouldn't be tempted to buy things . but it is a annual event. i missed last year event... but even if i go, i only need to pay entrance fee. cuz all the booths only accept cash.so if i only have 20 in my pocket as budget, i wouldn't spend out of hand.haha.

this month my money is spent on returning ppl money and ppl borrow money from me
return bf 50
return alice 50
bro borrow 70
mom take 500
sis borrow 100

i only bought veri little stuff for myself
bought an extra thing, a wig for my girl. haf been waiting for one month to buy it
tiara new pink wig - $45 (alicce charge me expensive..wa kao)
eyeliner 14.90 (for cosplay too)
gold hairspray 6.90 (for cosplay)
red contact lense 19 (for cosplay)

hmmmm... hungry. ate cup noodle for lunch... now hungry. i wanna go off work liao..

if a movie was made of ur life, ur soundtrack album...

2008-11-26T00:11:00.001-08:00

k. this is fun and i found this at other blog.
And tt i dun wish to fill up all the entire pages with my daily rantings and complaints. Otherwise the readers will get bored easily. Haha.
My songs are both English and Japanese. But mostly are Jrock songs.

IF A MOVIE WAS MADE OF YOUR LIFE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc).
2. Put it on shuffle.
3. Press play.
4. For every question type the song that's playing.
5. When you go to a new question press the next button.

Opening Credits: Mad Tea Party (By D)
Comments: Great Funky theme song. Life is nothing but a big party. Ah... i lurv Tea (really? 0_o)

Waking Up: Inner Core (L`arc~En~Ciel )
Comments: wake up liao... so noisy, how can I not wake up. New day to begin, with new challenges unknown waiting for me.

Falling In Love: PRINCE (Versailles Philharmonic Quintet )
Comments: Awwww... my prince wearing his white suit, riding on his white horse, fetching me to our new beloved home... (think too much le ba)

Fight Scene: Mother Earth (within temptation – English song)
Comments: this is one great song with good atmosphere for fighting. *the strong wind blows against my face as I stand facing my enemy. Ready to fight ...*

Breaking Up: Numphomaniac Fantasia (within temptation)
Comments: this does not sound like a sad song bout breakin up ...weird..but there is one line that goes “ do you miss me? ”

Making up: white feathers (L`arc~En~Ciel)
Comments: a moving mid tempo song... such lovely song .. with my lover’s heart warming words that is shoo touching, I guess we would make up den.. *giggles*

Sex: itoshisa wa fuhai ni tsuki (dir en grey)
Comments: oohhh... sexy slow song .. hmph. No comments... *cough cough*

Life's Okay: Moondance (Nightwish)
Comments: Life is too challenging for me. I’ll dance and headbang to this song, and dance my worries away. (a fast tempo and upbeat song)

Mental Breakdown: Forsaken (Nightwish)[hey... i did shuffle the song ...]
Comments: “No..The day has come.” Ya... the day has come for me to get mental breakdown.. another great song esp with the powerful singing of the female vocalist. “there’s no time anymore”

Driving: Asrun Dream (Gackt)
Comments: fast tempo with nice rhythm, if i have a car, i would really play this song. *driving the convertible car with the song blasted out loud, and the wind blowing against my face, messes up my hair ...

Flashbacks: Jillian (within temptation)
Comments: such a song with the haunting and high vocal... it brings back memories of the happy and sad moment. “ I have been dreaming for so long, to find the meaning to understand, the secret of life ..... many seasons have past me by ....”

Happy Dance: Kono daremo inai heya de (Gackt)
Comments: slow soothing song .. more like a relaxing song la

Regretting: Stand my ground (within temptation)
Comments: “stand my ground, i wouldn’t give in...” hmph. I doubt so..

Final Battle: Toguro (Dir en Grey)
Comments: *ready to fight * smirks..i’m gonna win. Kyo’s vocal is cool and yells with emotions.. like this song

Death Scene: Higeki wa me futa wo oroshita yasashiki (dir en grey – from withering to death album)
Comments: slow sad emo song... suits the ending death scene...slowly.. i wither to death bit by bit, day by day

still digging ur grave?

2008-11-24T18:44:00.000-08:00

hahahaha..

i think i siao already.
kena scolded by boss in the morning. cuz i made a mistake in work.kns
my fault la.. already done, cannot undone liao.. most imptly is to solve the case la.
i was like.. u want to scold, faster scold finish. we need to get back to work asap..

last week, a friend Angel told me bout the results of pbo.
which band is in the list to perform, and which band are NOT in the list.
tt female drummer band is OUT of the list
hahahaha
previouslly, i thought of a word.
''she is digging her own grave.''
hmm..wonder does she still need a shovel to continue digging or not..
so bad ahr..lol
anyway, tt friend told me that after the results is out, it seems that the drummer band disbanded.
cuz she eventually found another band. and the vocalist of that band is Angel's friend. she suay suay ahr.. eventually the vocalist found out the truth bout the drummer through other local jrock scene friends. though both of them only met for the first time and chatted, however they almost quarrelled. and had different opinions. the drummer rebuked the vocalist and say the vocalist 'xia sui' the band. cuz the vocalist is forming 2 bands (as vocalist in the main band,and as drummer in the side band).
The drummer is very straightforward and talks without thinking. the vocalist is just straightforward.
So, both of them buay siong each other liao lo.
They only discussed bout the band thing, and have not started jamming yet.
Such probs happen already.
So the vocalist decided to kick the drummer away, dun want to work with her.
Haha.
Good work
Thumbs up!

It is her turn to be kicked out .
I was laughing away when angel told me bout it.
Den i realised that some how these news spread out in the local jrock scene. Bout her happenings and attitude.
She must have offended other ppl too, tt’s why they are speaking behind her.

Whatever
I can’t be bothered anymore.
I just can’t stop laughing at it.
hhaha

yesterday morning oso got something happen.
though it is just a minor case, but it showed how ridiculous the person is.
lol

early in the mornin, i walked out of the room, going to the toilet to wash up.
den stepmom came out of her room, i said morning.
but i was still half asleep. so i was mumbling, not clear.
den she looked at me and asked me did i say good mornin to her.
i said i did.
apparently she early in the morning, still half asleep too, did not hear me greet her.
and she got morning mood swing.terrible mood swing.
den she scold me.
"when u see me in the morning, don't you greet me?"
"u have a boyfriend for wad. so you forget ur manners already."
when i heard that i was like 0_o wtfuck..
havin bf and manners is 2 different matters.
how the fuck can she put 2 things together.
i am considered veri good mannered girl.k
it's just that i did not speak loud enough for her to hear
is tt a BIG problem?
lol la

back to work la ....

blogs updated

2008-11-18T23:27:00.000-08:00

tadah!
finally i updated my dollfies blog. click on their name to see more cute pix ..hahha
today i am in the mood to blog and update my kids blog.
feel happy to see their pix in the blog again ^^

just now angered my bf le la.. he is just worried for me. and i tell him to shaddup..bleh.
later must talk to him lo..hmm

hope his mood is better nya..

fuckin boss and colleague

2008-11-18T18:50:00.000-08:00

been a long time since i last blogged.
yesterday is quite happening.
in morning, went to bank and run office errand.
afternoon, go bras bash , take poster (boss wants me to frame it).
den at nite, i told mom bout my bf.
she interviewed me for 20 min and gave me advice.
i was like...wat the heck.are u done with it.. she is over protective..sometimes i just cannot tahan.
den at work, someone complain to boss that i go home early after work.
we end work at 6 pm, but usually i leave between 6.30 pm to 7 pm.
is tt early?
at times, i go off at 6.10 6.15.
but most of time, i will stay till almost 7 pm.
my work is not so busy and not so much.
i finished my stuffs, den i go home. fair enough.
they want to blame, blame themself and boss for the workload.cuz other colleagues are in different dept.
the IT guys and merchandisers are more busy than me, more work.so they have to work later than me. wad is there for them to complain. it is not my fault tt they have so many work to do..
want to complain, dun anyhow complain ahr..not my fault k..

den boss tell me that some one feed back to him bout it.
i was like , oh, k , i will help to share workload.
of course. i am employed to do work, share workload. it is my job.
i got nothing to blame.

den after discussion with boss, i was thinkin, k , i shall stay till 6.59 pm, and observe the colleagues expression and reaction.
but den , the finance person went off at 6.40 pm, she said tt from now on , she will go home at 6.30 pm, 7 pm .cuz previously she stay till 7pm plus plus, cuz she in meeting with boss. tt's her job, tt's her prob, not mine. or i take over her job and send her back to philippines la. see she happy or not..hmph

by sayin tt, she revealed herself . tt means it is she who told boss bout me.
eh.. my prob ahr. she passed me stuffs to do, of course i got do.
just tt at times, i am bit slow.
i got do, better than nothing.k.

kns
for my part, i often have to go out alone and buy lots of office stuffs. printing paper, even go to sim lim to buy toner catridge for printer (cuz no printer shops nearby office area), pantry supplies, toilet rolls, tissue box, misc stuffs.
den got some colleague laugh at me when i purchase toilet roll for the other office unit, cuz i was holding on to the toilet roll. i was like, laugh for wad, nvr see toilet roll before ah..
i didn't even complain to anyone.cuz no one to complain to.ppl would just ignore me de la,cuz my case is minor thing only.
and tt i have to carry so many things at one go, the things is so heavy la.. just like yesterday..sian

back to work la...

11 nov

2008-11-10T18:51:00.000-08:00

been long time since i blogged.
current band is inactive.. bassist in ns.so often can't jam due to his schedule.sian.
i gotta slowly look for another bassist and jam with us.
meanwhile, i'll take this time to practice and rest.
lookin for jrock band to join lo..itchin for jamming ler..lol

work is still fine lo. our website is officially launched already

bf is sick today.. not online. siannn..
broke againn..give mom 500, sis take 100, bro borrow 50, return bf 80, return remaining balance of phone bill 147++..haiz.. bought the stupid dress for cousin wedding at 69, in the end didn't wear it. should have not bought it.
but happily tt i bought a 49 white jacket from g2000 , they were havin sale. tt jacket is similar to Lady's jacket (from devil may cry game). can wear tt for cosplay and to work..haha

lately i am veri into lolita clothes esp Baby the stars shine bright brand. the jsk, dresses, skirts are so cute , unique, pretty.. i so want it.
www.babyssb.co.jp
but it is sooo expensive.

I am wearing my own made loliat skirt today to office. black with white lace. i like it a lot.
i only have 1 lolita skirt. want to buy some more skirts, but it is expensive. if not, i want to start sewing lolita clothes again..been long time since i started to sew any cosplay costumes/lolita clothes.
lucky i still have some of the gothic lolita bible magazine, as they have templates and instructions to sew lolita and gothic clothes..

lately life is so siann esp after i quit band.
no jamming , sun much more free time. but sian lo... lost my aim in life.. i am back to cosplay again.

upcomin is asagi for eoy 08
he is my master cos for afa08
Lady from DMC for soy 09 and cosfest 09
dir en grey cos, toshiya for streetfest 09 (first time doin dir en grey cosplay. yeah!~ dunno tt group wants to accept me or not. if not, den too bad, i do asagi again lo. since there is so little asagi cosplayer in sg)
King from KOF for EOY 09
DOA EXTREME BEACH VOLLEYBALL , Ayane for bikini photoshoot (ya.. doa.. tis time is really extreme..haha)

think i will be goin busy and broke again next yr..lol
just as long as i save up properly and not gettin any more dolls and lolita clothes. everything will be fine lo..

T_____T

2008-10-14T22:14:00.000-07:00

i am now eatin lunch.
cryin while eatin.
cannot go pbo liao.. so disappointed

band disbanded liao
tt female drummer kick me out
she say it's everyone decision
i called all the others and ask them
they said tt , the drummer told them tt i go out of band liao.
what the fuck la
it is her prob
she wants be vocalist
and find new drummer

den a friend of ours wanted to laugh, when he heard tt
he said tt her singing is cmi 0_o
and his judgement is good de wor

it is her loss to kick me out
i called the other guys to join my new band
both guitarists joined me and her band
bassists dun want join,after he knows the drummer is someone else
bassist dun like drummer,cuz of personal reason
fuck
den fuck off la

den the guitarists
1 left cuz still in ns, time constraint
the other left, cuz in 3 bands liao, too hectic to juggle band and studies
fuck
fuck off la

now formin new band
bassist is my guitar teacher who taught me few months ago
he wanted to play bass tis time round

guitarist has 6 yrs exp
had some originals
but is in english
i dun mind
cuz english is universal language
everybody can understand wad i am singing
not much ppl understand jrock songs

but
jrock is now soo flowin in my blood liao

at first got a female bassist join us
but she left, cuz she busy with work and juggling 2 other bands
fuck
fuck off la

i am fucking irritated and disappointed liao
wanted to disband
but drummer (my bf) said tt he will follow me de
den guitarist tell me not to give up

wanted to join a all gal band, playin punkrock
eg blink 182
but i will be guitarist instead la
i dun mind

everybody dun have enough time to practice for the pbo audition
i cannot be so selfish to ask them to compromise me
cuz i practice for such long time liao
drummer said tt he dun mind practice and chiong with me for pbo
dun wan la.. dun wan to tire him out

i just felt tt all my efforts and practice have been wasted
been crying since morning
crying in between intervals

damn fucking work oso la
kena boss scold
cuz of one colleague who left us
fuckin ass hole

as for tt female drummer
i dunno wdf la
a lot of ppl whom i know, who knows her too
they say she is egoistic
autocratic
petty
thinks she has better capability
i dunn wanna care bout it la

see who shall have the last laugh
if she wants to go the gig
she has to go thru the audition
with the high standard expectations of the judges
i dunno whether she can go thru the audition or not

and one of the judges knows bout our situation
is one of our friend
she suay suay ahrr
the judge is that person

nvm
no pbo
also nvm
but i am just so disapppointed
been waitin for it
lots of my friend is in tt event la
kunio been askin me since start of yr la
sorry kuni... i not goin liao
but i still go and watch performances lorhhhh

find members is so fuckin hard la
still havin lunch
no mood to eat liao laaaa

ah fuck it
mayb i should stop joining band
not even the all gal band

T_____________________T

i just want a fucking performance slot
i just want to perform
fuck
why the heck do i want to perform so badly
after practicing for years at home , in toilet
it's so fucking borin to perform at home liao
i just want a performance stage
arh
fuck man

I am not fangirl, juz a friend. dun categorise me with them.dammit

2008-09-23T20:16:00.000-07:00

Pui
Pui!
Pui!!
Yesterday went to the ‘ktv’ session with ethe` real
Pui!!!!

It is not a ktv session, but a gimmick.
It is for the filming of the band’s fangirls, friends and family members.

They were all late!
I reached at 7.20 pm, waited with the other gals
Sam came first at 8 pm ++
Den the mediacorp ppl came after him
I was like 0_o ...*gulps*
Den one of the fangirl told me it’s a filming
I was like, what the fuck la
I was cheated to go there
Not ktv session at all, cheebyeeee
I really tot tt it is a ktv session with them, their fangirls, their friends
Chao chee bye
We waited till 8.45 pm, den some of them wanted to go eat dinner
Bought sushi for dinner
Went back to the venue at 9.05 pm
I was purposely walk past the ktv room
They are still setting up the thing!!!
Bloody hell
Den, around 9.30 pm, they asked us to go in
The reason why I stayed so long, is to see what other stuffs that the backstage producers say and Ethe` real

k...saw kunio... so?
He is busy la, with his fangirls. but at least, he had the manners to thank us for goin there, when the filming ended.
Saw sam... so ?
Took 2 pix with him, cuz my sis like him, so the pix is for her de
Saw nuh ...so ?
He is the last to reach and the first to go off. He seems surprised to see me there.
I think so.. cuz i didn’t see Jun
Saw kei ...so ?
He is busy taking photos with his fan girls
Saw jun ..so?
I can’t be bothered. Not familiar with him.
But he smiled to me. I was surprised.
At first, when the guys is standing at one side of the room, I turned my head to the right. Den i saw Jun taking up his camera phone taking photos at my direction. I was like 0_o ?!??? . “is he taking my photo? Or smsing ... no. Tt dun look like he is smsing. Erm ...wait.. kunio is standing in front of me, beside him is kei.. ah la.. think he is takin their photos la. Dun think so much.”
Den, later on, when the producer is telling the guys to line up in a row. I was standing behind them, on the sofa. The producers wants us gals to stand on the sofa and hold the banner.
Thanks for the banner tt i borrowed.
It covered my face entirely for the whole shootin.
Den, when i was blanking out, lookin bored, Jun turned and looked at me. At that moment, I turn my head.
So, just right. Our eyes met.
His first reaction is to smile at me.
I was like waht the fuck la... how come u smile at me ? O _ O!!!
So, in courtesy, I just smiled back gently.
Somehow, I just dun feel right and weeirrd..really weird. Cuz the first time i saw him was at the IMM event .
Tt time, he didn’t talk much and I dunno him.
and last nite, dunno y, i dreamt of Jun. ya..only Jun.. heh.. how come i didn't dream of Kunio de ? lol

I only spoke to Kunio, Nuh and Sam for awhile.
After the filming, I shaked kunio, nuh, kei hands and say good luck for the finals. Dunno where is Jun and Sam.
Den i go off .
The host, desmond koh is humorous and funny.
Lim pei fen is quite quiet actually.
I took the lift together with them and their production team.

Next time, ppl, when there is a free thing, and is organised by media corp, just dun goooo...
Goshh..

Next month, my band is going for the pbo audition.
Dammit.. i bet kunio will be the judge. Dunno who else is the judge.
But, i don’t want them to see me and go, “Isn’t tt one of the fangirls who came down to the party world ?”
Omg la!!!!!!!
I am not fangirl!!!!!!
I hate being one!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dun categorize me with them
I am just a friend who happens to know them, that’s it.
Dammmmit

I dun want them to think I am one, and will judge my band cuz of that.
I dun want my name to affect my band’s reputation la
Dammmmit
Whatever, I am sooo gonna blast them and make their jaws drop with our band performance.
Hmmm
I am so motivated now to work even harder.

Gambateeeeeeeeee!

gambateee!!!

2008-09-23T02:32:00.000-07:00

Just now I went to the superband blog at media corp.
Read through it and could feel the hardness, sadness, happiness of the band members who can/cannot make it to the next round of competition.

It kind of scared me off.

Anyway... it is still a long way for my band to go.
I want yingmin back.... our first female guitarist....sobzz ..she is hardworking, humble, quiet, smiley face ....
Awww missed her....

Saw simon’s blog post and agree with what he say.
Too bad his band didn’t make it to semi-finals.. cuz of his vocalist...dammit la.
*face palms*

I support ethe` real (cuz of cedric), ying (cuz of simon), scream (cuz of eva).
Ying and scream kena kicked out liao. But they did their best liao.

It was also till i watched superband. Den i really understand and realise how IMPORTANT a vocalist is.
As a vocalist, we must take good care of our body, our health, improve and practice.
And tt the vocalist performance will affect the whole band drastically.
Tt’s why, now i am concentrating a lot on my vocals practice, instead of playing guitar while singing.
Cuz it will distract me de.

I must gambate de.
I know that there are friends out there supporting us and is waiting to see our performance.
One more month to the audition.
Seriously hope that everybody in the band puts in their effort to practice.
Dec is the project breakout 2 gig.
Been waiting patiently since last year after I see the bands performing.

Though it is just a gig to some ppl, but to me, it is another start for our band.
Cuz we have 2 new members joining us.
Kai as rhythm guitarist. (yingmin still on study break)
Reize as bassist.

Gambattttttttttttteeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

saw raven the other day in the mrt.
she and I are vocal students at music garage.
she told me tt Jae (the vocal teacher) Changed a lot in terms of character and attitude. Esp after he has released his first single.
After he changed a lot, a lot of the students dun like him. And they dun want to go for lesson.
Tt makes Jae very disappointed and angry.
Haizz..been a long time since i go music garage liao..
Tt is where i knew simon too.
The first impression that he gave me was, he is a humorous, funny, mature guy, easy to get along.
Arhghh... too bad tt he is busy now with his own thing. otherwise i would have pulled him into our band as guitarist ...argghhghghgg

Later go ktv with ethe`real and other forum friends...mwahahha

It was so unexpected la!
I saw the ktv outing post in the forum.
I was considering maybe goin
Den moments later, sam came online.
I said Hi out of boredness.
Den he told me bout the ktv, asked me whether if i am goin.
I was surprised tt he remember me.
Think is bcuz of my avatar picture bah.
And is free de!!!lol

K lorr... been long time since i go ktv with friends.
So I am goin.
And see kunioooo there...hhahaha...long time didn’t go out with him ler since 2 years ago. Cuz last time cedric was in Rei (vocalist). Den felix is his drummer. Felix is my poly friend. Felix gf is my good friend . So when felix band have performance, they ask us to go and watch. So I always go. Still remember the old times when the jrock scene is much more fun and better ....arh. missed those days. Den , later on, rei disbanded, a lot of things happened, and we lost contact.

Anyway la.
Surprised to see cedric joinin the superband thing.
His Chinese has improved, he has become more outgoing and smiles more.
And he is still so tall!!! Arhhh i want ur height dudeeeeee

And bcuz of he joining the superband thing.
It motivated me.
I am sooo goin to join the next season la, ermm..if there is another superband competition.

Go go go go go go go go go
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

dammit

2008-09-22T03:13:00.000-07:00

Ah dammit!

Our bassist mia!
Dunno wad the heck happened till the drummer explained. She blamed herself and apologised for it. Seems that the bassist left due to the drummer prob.
Arghhh whyyyyyyyyyy?
Why are we alwaz facing the bassist prob??????????/

Do u fuckin know tt I took such ages and efforts to look for bassists ????????? esp bassists!!!!!!!!
Guitarists is easy to find la
All the members in the band are searched by meeeeeeeee.
1st bassist is a gal. She left due to work commitment. (not my prob) and i met her face to face before. And I dun even know tt is her.omgggggggggggg laaaaaaaaaaaaaa
2nd bassist is a gal, from japan. She came to sg to study. Den she left due to her own prob, health and attitude prob. And I was sooooo proud at tt time, to tell ppl tt I had a female bassist, and is imported directly from Japan, somemore at tt time we are still a gal band...
3rd bassist is a guy, cuz i had a hard time lookin for female bassist. He left dunno for wad fuckin reason. He didn’t even tell us he is leavin us. Omggggggggggg laaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Arghhhhhhhhhhh!!
I was even thinkin of playin bass, and get someone more pro to be vocalist. But shit la ... i can’t play bass well either.

On fri nite, my drummer (female) told me bout the prob. So i faster sms some back up bassists on my list. Arhggghghghg
One gal is having O level.
One guy did not reply, and fuck it la..anyway he is in ns
I even sms my previous guitarist in my first band ,and ask for help.
He suggested to me bout the bassist in my first band. Though is a guy.
Pm him today and he just reply me two words.
“No problem.”

Woooooooooooooh babbyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!

I was soooo fuckin happy la.finally found one la

On fri, when i was lookin for bassist. I tot of getting a gal tis time. Cuz wanted to form a gal band... i ish bit stubborn de. We still have 1 guy la..tt is our guitarist.

Anyway, out of desperation.. i know i was desperate.
My bf suggested to me bout his ex gf who is a pro bassist.
She did recordings for some bands.
so i fucking seriously dun mind her session for us.
I thickskin, and sms her.
We discussed for awhile thru sms.
In the end, she did not confirm with me whether she confirm sessioning for us or not.
So, i know she dun want to join us liao.

Ah nvm la.
Anyway now got a bassist liao.
Hope he dun mia.
Our upcoming audition is in oct leh!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Fuckin shit
Our first audition is just one month away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Now, i am practicing everyday la!!!!
Have been slackin like shit for past 2 weeks.
I so wannnna go for the PBO 2 in dec laaaaaaaaaaaaa

Must give kunio a good impression tt my band can make it de.
Everytime he see me, he keep askin me , how is my band doin liao.when at first, he heard tt it is a gal band, he is excited bout it, wants to see us perform. Keep askin me when are we ready to go for gigs. Everytime i tell him, not yet ready, we still practicing hard. He seems to be disappointed. Ahhhhh.. i dun wanna disappoint him nya... but now his band is in the superband. Think he kind of dun care lerh... haiz. Anyway, i registered for my band for the gig liao.

Hope tt we can make it.

Our members have been practicing hard de leh ...
The male bassist is hardworking de..i know.. but dunno y he left us.........

And to think tt, from oct 07 to april 08, i went for at least 2 vocal lessons every week at music garage, den oso met my drummer weekly for free vocal lessons who is a music student. She learnt vocals in lasalle, so she thought me lots of stuffs. So i had 2 vocal teacher at tt time. Learnt a lot and improved a lot during tt period of time.
Now to think of it, why the fuck should i be so hardworking, when some ppl joined the band and left us for their own personal reason. I am tryin so hard in the vocals and some guitar too...even went for guitar lesson. My guy friend who is a guitarist in the English metal scene, taught me at his home. He teaches ppl for lesson.
I have been tryin so hard, and so , i don’t want to let all my hardwork and efforts, time and money to be wasted ... and who the fuck else knows I have been workin so hard , for dunno wad reason. Juz bcuz i want to perform so badly....

*heart wrench*
*cries*

Ahhhhhhhhh fuck it la....
Must work hard in no matter wad.

GAMBATEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Idiot’s way for guide to survival at home.

2008-09-17T22:13:00.001-07:00

Idiot’s way for guide to survival at home.

1. Never tell your parents that you are going out after school/work, and will be home late. Don’t tell them early in the morning).
(so that you can get the hell out of the house smoothly on time, and without spoiling your and their mood.)

2. Make sure you tidy your bed, fold the blanket in the morning, before you go out.
(this is to show your cleanliness, and make your parents feel better)

3. Do not show signs of nervousness, excited ness, happiness.
(if you are going out, not go school/work. Means if you are playing truant la).
(otherwise they will suspect. Show signs of sian-ness)

4. Pack up your stuffs carefully the previous night, if you are planning to do the above activity stated in no.3.
(otherwise you will end up missing out some important things and may have to go back home again to take the things. Will waste more time and energy. U may even have to think up of new excuses to take the things.)

5. DO return home on time as per normal time.
(eg. Usually reach home at 7.30 pm. Reach home bit early at 7 pm, not 9 pm)

6. Make sure you tidy up your room and house at end of the day, before you sleep. Switch off all electricity appliances and do anything household chores that is necessary.
(this is to save electricity and save the earth. And to show them that you care bout the home. And to prevent your ears from bleeding.)

7. When being nagged/scolded at, keep quiet. Ermm..even if they are in the wrong.
(when parents nagged, they always think that they are correct.
Even if you try to reason with them, they dun listen.
Bcuz their mentality is, “I am your father/mother. I am teaching you the correct thing to do. You keep quiet and shut up. Listen to me.”
After they finished their long speech, let them go back to their room/work.
Give them time to cool down and think through what they have said and done. It is till then that they will realise that they did/said something stupid/harsh.
But take note that NOT ALL ADULTS DO THAT! Some will keep on repeating same mistakes.

If it is their fault, you have the right to tell them that they are in the wrong. And pinpoint out that what is the thing that they had done to make matters worse. AND must state that, as parents, they are always teaching us. Though we are just kids, but we should also let them know and prevent further similar cases happening again.
But before that, dun blame them first, cuz in some cases, they will give a tight slap if you do that.
Tell them MOST imptly, how the matters can be solved.
At the end of speech, just say that ,”nevermind. At least this matter can be solved. I dun blame you. I also have fault at first.”
Try to think from the view point of your parents.
Make them feel that their kids have grown up and have their own thinking, and that you are mature enough to handle some things yourself.

The above guides are just purely guides. Not recommended for the reader to follow. If you want to follow it, do it at your own risk. And if something happens, do not look for me. And i know some of the guides are just plain stupid.

And I am not encouraging the kids to do that either. Except for some.

(ps: to that someone, pls do not rant off at me too much for those guides. This is me, just me, purely me. I think he cannot tahan all these nonsenses..bleh 0_o)

I am getting extremely paranoid and bo liao already. blehhhhhhhh

1809

2008-09-17T22:13:00.000-07:00

Last nite, new things happened again.
It’s nothing new. Just the normal rantings and scoldings by my stepmom.

This time it is triggered by a fan.

The weather is hot last nite. The fan in our room couldn’t turn. So, i took my bro’s fan to use. Anyway, bro is not at home.
Both fans are on. Then, step mom came in. She saw the 2 fans on and nagged that we are wasting the electricity. K. I understand that she wants to save electricity and money. So, I stood up and changed to one fan only. While doin that, she continued to nag and became scolding. Nagged that if the electricity went up, it must be due to my sis, bout sis school results, sis’s behaviour, my obsession with Japanese stuffs, our conversation about idols etc. What the fuck, my prob again arh. Hellloooooooooo.... I am not into japanese stuffs ler, not into cosplay liao (crosses finger), and treatin band jamming as hobby (crosses finger again).

Then she threaten that she will move out. And if we beg her to come back, she will die die dun come back to the house again.

After she left the room, my sis and I waved goodbye to her.

LOL

She sounded as if she is the queen and everybody have to give way to her. Omy fucking gosh god la
She does make a good leader, good negotiator and boss. But not a mother.

Why on earth did dad marry her?

My first reaction was like what the fuck la.
U fuckin hell.
I should get the fuck out of the house instead.
This morning, when I was getting ready to go work. She is still sleeping.
I faster packed some of my clothes into the big burberry travel bag and bring it to office.
I am not moving out so fast yet. Will be bringing some clothes to office everyday and slowly pack.

Sometimes my sis commented that I am very extreme in certain ways.
But hey... we have to do that in order to protect ourself.
I know i am still fuckin coward , to talk back to her. arhgh urgh urarh arugh urrrhg arghhh

Now i wonder how the fuckin heck did i manage to survive for the past 2 years.
And to that someone who is readin my blog... juz keep quiet bout it.shhhh (pretend tt it never existed before)
Anyway, this is my complain blog (for da rest of my life). Making complains like nobody business. A place where i can rant off without restrictions. And none of my family knows bout it and not all my friends know.

Anyway, out of boredom and sian-ness, i created a “idiot’s way for guide to survival at home” in the next post.
Read on and laugh your ass off if u are still stuck at work or school. lol

1709

2008-09-16T22:58:00.000-07:00

Work is bored.
Not much things to do.

On mon , while watchin superband competition. My stepmom warned me to stop my band thing, and that joining band is useless. And told me that I wouldn’t be able to make it to competitions unlike those bands. I was like wat the fuck la.
It started from a packet of cuttlefish that i ate on sun nite. I ate halfway, tied it, and put back into the white plastic bag on the dining table. Den on mon, she told me that I should put in the fridge so that it will not 漏风. I was like , k, den next time i’ll put it in fridge lor. Den she complained tt i have no brains in doin things, so stupid, play band for dunno wad shit, just join band and experience is enough for me.
Pui la!!
I dun want her to decide for me my future and decide my hobbies.
Kanasai. Chao chee byeee
I’m now treating band jamming as hobby.yar.serious hobby..lol.
Wat the fuck is her fuckin prob. Spoilt my mood to watch the result show. Went back to room to sleep.

Somemore we are preparing for project breakout 2 this year end.
Yesterday just send email for registration.
Received the email from kunio for registration on mon. On tues, i send the registration. Fast sehhh..
I want to gooooooooooo arh.

One of our company’s big investor came to Singapore last week. So, mon, tue , we had free lunch. It is either paid by the big investor or our ceo. Ate very full..

Fuckin hell shit la.. better to move out.
Stepmom alwaz threaten us, and say, if u have the capability, u move out.
I alwaz keep quiet. Dun make me say, “don’t you regret.”

Anyway, i still have my dear who adores me a lot.
Nobody supports me. He will support me de.
*huggglessss*

muackz

2008-09-10T19:02:00.000-07:00

haha.

got a new bf.
hmmph
shuld say tt know him for half year thru forum, mayb saw him at some events, but just a glance.
anyway, he's a nice fella.. and seems to be veri serious about me. *crosses finger*
but i'll test his patience .haha.
he even wanted to marry me. i was like 0_o ... i'm not prepared for marriage yet.not prepared mentally, physically, financially yet. esp the finance part.
he managed to convince 20 % of my mind to marry him. but it's still early.. still have a long way to go.hee heeee

feelin happy lorh..
feel much more better when i used to b single.

juz hope tt he is really serious and good to me..otherwise i'll bash him and go heartbroken...

*huggles dear*

seduction style quiz

2008-09-01T03:26:00.000-07:00

^^

2008-08-31T21:03:00.000-07:00

Went to summer festival 2 weeks ago , with sis. She went there last year, and wanted to join in the fun again this year.
Went there alone first, den met up with hs and other sp guys.
Walked around, and played around, ate around.
Was quite fun. Den my sis is on the way, after meeting her friend at Sentosa.
When i went off to fetch her at bus stop, hs came along and sheltered me with my umbrella.
Cuz of tt, kena di siao by some fellow at sgcafe .
And cuz of tt met new friends..

Anyway, summer festival was quite fun. Hang around with the sp guys and some sgcafe friends.
Played around like shit, danced, laughed, tcss.

Last sat, went to matsuri at vivo on sat. Didn’t go on sun. The performance slot was delayed for the bands. Lucky my band didn’t perform on tt day. Otherwise all members will be buay siong. Drummer will definitely get pissed off and throw drumsticks at organiser, and i will be pissed off to throw the mike at him too.

anyway, went off early to watch shino's side band performance. unexpectedly, i saw ethereal!! yeah hoo! cedricccc! hahha .. i am his friend aka fan.bleh
and my sis is now fan girling over sam la..
(sis)"oh.. he's sooo cute"
(me)"who ?"
s "SAM LA!!1"
m "oh"
s "ARRRHG! How come u know him?"
m "through cedric lo."
s " who ? who is cedric?"
M “vocalist la”
S “his name not kunio meh?”
M “real name is cedric la”
S “omg! U know his real name? How come u know?”
M “i knoe him when he was in his previous band mah”
S “how come now den i know?!? Aahhh.. i dun want to know him. I want to know sam, SAMMMM!”
M “ wah. U so demoralizing leh. I support cedric la. What’s with tt sam?”
S “HE’S CUUTE LAA!”
M “cute meh?”
S “not CUTE MEH?!! His big EYES! And smile! How old is he? Around my age?”
M “no. Around my age.”
S “HAAAA! *disappointed* nvm. I like older guys too. More mature”
M “0_o “
S “ask cedric for more info bout him leh.”
M “for wad? I paiseh to ask . later he think i interested in sam.”
S “ah ya. U so short. Cedric so tall. He wouldn’t like u de la.”
M “shuddup. U so tall. Sam so short. U think he like u meh?”
S “oh gosh. He is shorter den me! Argh! “

In the middle of the nite, before we sleep.
S “jiieeee. Gooood niite.”
M “good nite”
S “ahhhh! Sam! He’s so cute!”
M “shut up la. Go and sleep.”
S “kkk..i’m goin to dream of him tonite.”
M “go dream of him la. Dun disturb me. I want slp.”
S “i dream of sam. U dream of cedric lor.”
M “why should i dream of him? He’s only friend nya.”
S “jie!! Go stead with cedric la. Since u know him for so long. And i can get to know sam too”
M “pls la. We only friend. U want know sam, also no need to use me . kaooo”
S “kiddin de la. “
M “zzzzZZZZzz”
S “ahhh.. sam! Awwww ^^“
M **throws bolster at sis**

Typically this is how i spend my nite , everynite.. gosh.
Shhhhh.. dun tell her . later she kpkb again..

Haha

Anyway, lately, i feel much more better and happier than ever.
Haha. Why ?
Haha. Dunno why leh.
Hhaaha. Very happy lo
Hahahhhaa. Shiawase neh~~~~^^

*strums guitar and sings “

cosplay wan suai!

2008-08-21T02:39:00.001-07:00

mwahaha
i have moree plans now for cosplay.
eoy 08, doin asagi from D.
cosfest 09, do Lady from devil may cry 4.
wakaka.
first time doin game character.
excited and nervous.
at first , thought of makin my own weapon. but luckily, a member from sgcafe is doin cosplay stuffs, and they have a weapon tt is almost similar to the weapon tt Lady is using. yeah!! i'm willing to pay. but it will take ages for me to pay the full amount. imagine me takin the big weapon to the event .ppl will be stunned. gosh. mwahhaha

confirmed doin arh. been long time since i felt so excited bout cosplayin ler.
doin asagi too. lucky i have a long pants, gloves, boots for his outfit. i need a white long coat. will be buying one, or sew one and spray the edges black. mwahaha

as for the lady outfit, i'll be doing a brown boots cover for my black boots. lucky i bought a cosmode magazine with the tips to do boots cover. yesh!! starting on the boots first. aim to finish that by end of oct. for her clothes, i'll sew her top , according to the template and tips in the cosmode magazine. yesh!! but will need to look for the cloth, damn la. it's white with grey/silver stripes.
i already spotted few similar wigs at the cosplay market section. wakaka. the price is within my budget. will purchase the stuffs slowly for the next months.
luckily , i myself have belts for the belts on her legs and top. need to get a glove, sunglass too. wakkaka.

confirmed doin it. dun want to give up. otherwise i'll feel sian, when i go cosplay events and take pix of other cosplayers.

Lady from devil may cry 4

mon again ....

2008-07-28T04:13:00.001-07:00

10 am
I am not goin to stress someone. Cuz it is of no use. I’ll stay optimistic and smiley always.
Yesterday, went jamming with band. Finally, got one guitarist into our band liao. Asked shino to session for us, instead of joining us permanently. Cuz he is busy preparing for tests and has a side band too. Our female guitarist is still in the midst of preparing for A levels. Awww... miss her.
Anyway, it has been a year since i last jammed with him. (when we are in my previous band).
He has improved a lot. However due to school work and tests, so he did not have much time to practice for some of the songs. But he can handle 304 goushitsu hakushi no sakura (dir en grey song) quite well. And i can play tt song while singing. Yeah!! Finally, i can sing and play the part where it goes “yurari yurari yurari tooooo mauuuuu~~”. LoL laaa
Our band decided not to join the performance for matsuri at vivo, at end of aug. Sian. Due to 2 members havin something on tt day. Sian arhhhhh!!!!!!!!! Sobbzzz. Gotta wait for other events in sept, oct, nov, dec... can’t wait siahhhh.
Lunch time!
12.43 pm

Who wants sex ? 50 per session

2008-07-25T09:18:00.000-07:00

I am cryin cuz of step mom.

she humiliated me. But i dun want to quarrel. So i kept quiet. Later she'll scold and beat everyone in the house, bro and sis. Sis only commented a small remark. Den step mom flare up. She slap my step sis. And scold her. Den she turn back, saw me sittin on my bed. And scold me for my passion for japanese stuffs. I didn't say anything at all. She just scold . She nearly wanted to beat me. I lifted my right hand up and covered my face, closed my eyes tight. My fist was clenched. I almost wanted to hit her back, but didn't.

den she went out of room. Step sis complained and cried. I didn't say much, but i cried too.

spoil my mood.

i didn't retaliate cuz want to keep peace at home.
step mom scold, beat, threaten, nag over small things. Vent anger out on ppl to relieve stress. She played stocks and shares, lost money, pay for debts, temper grew bad, started to vent anger on everyone to relieve stress.

so, i didn't let her know how broke i am. I admit i am useless, cuz didn't save up money. I left with 20 dollar, couldn't withdraw the last 20 dollar. Damn it. Tried desperately to borrow money from friend. And asked my friend to return me my money, she borrow 50 from me. I dunno who else i can turn to. I scared tt, i will succumb to temptation by jumping off 18 level. Or worse still, i may want to sell my body for money. At least i have money for daily expense. And pay for home misc expenses. I'm still tryin to borrow money from friends. But not much reply me. I will return them money once i get my pay next week. They dunno the serious ness .

if no money, no money to buy food for family. Mom scold, beat me. Sometimes i am scared of her. Cuz she is fierce and strict. I am useless, cuz i fear her. But i am startin to detest step mom. I lost the respect for her.

i dunno how am i goin to survive. I owe few friends money. And i have not return them. I'll return them, but not so fast.
i think on sun, after jammin, i'll go some nearby hotels, to get some men to bed, and earn money.

who wants sex ? I'll bed u but u gotta pay me. $50 per session. Virgin here. Guys and lesbians are welcomed.

just now go out with glg . Felt happy. At least i felt happy and relaxed. We chatted, walked from bugis to suntec and back to bugis. Now i feel much better. And i decided not to be serious in tis relationship. Cuz we did not even started. We can be good friends. And i dun mind. So i dun feel so sad already. We like each other but didn't get together, due to age.
i am so much older den him. anyway, sometimes it is better to be friends den to be couple. So wad if we become a couple?
bein couple does not means we'll be together forever.

only thing tt keeps me livin on is work(cuz earn money and my colleagues are nice). And my band. And my dear pretty glg. Ha ha. *wants a mega hugs hugs*
lol. Nite. Think can't sleep well tonight.
hope tt i can see day light.

Ll

Oyasumi nasai

2008-07-22T09:33:00.000-07:00

I couldn't stop myself from crying to sleep, for these few nights.

i dunno why.

couldn't sleep.

tears just flowed endlessly upon missing someone

too emo la
scold myself
useless bum
stupid fool
damn asshole

on tues mornin, i cried again in the bus. Stupid . . . . . .

oyasumi nasai . . . . . *i want hug hug**pouts**

2008-07-18T07:11:00.000-07:00

Now in the bus, on the way home . .

wanted to meet glg. But he say see first, den he never reply .

sian.

went to plaza singapura alone and go daiso , to get cleaning sponge for my boy. Cuz i want to clean his body. His body is dirty liao, need to clean.

lucky i went there. Cuz saw my old friend from poly. Xg. Long time no see her liao. So happy to see her and her bf there. Chatted for awhile only lor.

den i walk to bugis, shopped around for awhile. Den ate supper. Hungry liao ler . . .

feelin sian la . . . . Despite i am now listenin to a hippy happy song by kagra. The song is ano saka wo noboreba.

this afternoon, while at sgcafe, i came across a thread bout the world cyber game event. They lookin for performers on sat, 9 aug. I wanna join. Too bad due to place constrain, band performance are not allowed. So they lookin for 8 singers. 1 song per person. I wanna go la ! Most prob i do ready steady go or new world by L'arc en ciel. Cuz most people are familiar with these 2 songs. And they are used for anime title. And is veri catchy and fast songs. I hope they will choose me and audition me. *can't wait*

still in the bus . . . Bloging usin hp .

sleepy . . . Yawn

2008-07-17T09:03:00.000-07:00

Cannot sleep.

listenin to radio.

wad r u doin now?

have i become history in ur life?

dun be so emo nya . . . . .

要看开一点。

_-_-_
dun be so sad, k?

just remember, i'll be here when u need someone

there is no such thing as , game over

i dun mean any harm

neither will i expect anything much from u

but i can be ur forever friend

*huggles tightly*

*sayang*

nite ^^

2008-07-17T06:15:00.000-07:00

Supposed to meet glg de. But he last min got urgent thing. So didn't meet up. Sian.
hungry. But no appetite to eat. Also good. Can Save up money.

sian. Have to bear till end of month, for my pay. If company pay by cheque, tt means i'll have to wait till start of next month. Oh my freakin gosh. I need da money to eat, give family, pay stuffs.

i damn useless la. Didnt save up much money last time. I one month never go shoppin ler. Only go window shoppin.

now walkin back home from mrt.

the matsuri at vivo at end of aug , have performin slots leh ! I wanna perform with my band. Not yet tell my members. Can't wait. Can't wait. Been waitin and practicin for 2 years liao. . Wanna perform leh. If can perform, hope tt ppl will support us. *excited excited*

my chiaki and tiara is still with my friend. He is not done yet with the face up. Hope tt he does a good job. I give him 2 weeks to do it. If he does a bad job, i'll smash his dolls . *jokin* at the most i'll complain only la.

the summer festival is comin too. Yeah! August is filled with events! Not so borin. My sis and her friend came along last year. Both of them was so excited and happy la. They still want to come tis year. Sian. I want my glg to come too. He is comin too. Yeah. But dunno last min, he can come or not. Sian la . .

now singing aegen by malice mizer, while walkin back home and blogging at the same time . . .

tml, i hope to meet glg leh. But my colleagues and boss wants to go eat dinner, den go ktv , to celebrate a major contract signed with a major bank. Hmmm . . . . Have to choose either one choice. Or go home and watch tv ? 0_o
eh. . . Tml is fri leh. Should go out relax relax la . . . *pats shoulder*

ohayou ^^

2008-07-15T18:56:00.001-07:00

ohayou !! ^^

a brand new day

i have decided to be strong

wtf ?

LoL

2008-07-15T08:51:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep at all .

keep playin my lullabies to coax me to sleep. Now listenin to class 95 radio.
it is playin "right now waitin" by richard marx.

waitin is a long period of time. And is tormenting.

knnccb.

arghh.
can't sleep. Can't sleep. *counts sheeps to sleep *

can't sleep.
can't sleep.

thinkin of him.

*throws pillow and tissue box on the floor*

better go sleep . . . .
*hugs bolster tightly*

2008-07-15T07:54:00.000-07:00

I think i heard my heart shattered into pieces . . .

can it be put back in to one piece?

i put my home and office keys in my bag. And i can always find the keys to home and office.
But i can't find the keys to my heart. Neither can i find the keys to his heart .

some times things is better to remain tt way. Cuz it will not hurt both parties.

dun worry. I'll be fine.
i will be strong .

i panicked when he tell me.
i dunno why. tears rolled down cheeks.
i mistook the way he treat me.
never mind
i shall accompany him when he needs someone
at least we can still be friends

oyasumi nasai ~~~^^

knn ccb

2008-07-15T04:34:00.000-07:00

i mistake bout someone ler.

i think too much liao.

*slap myself*

muz clarify with him bout some stuffs.

knn ccb

take note

2008-07-15T04:09:00.000-07:00

i am alone in the office now.
cuz just now while eatin cup noodle for dinner, other colleagues went for dinner. they asked me along. though i was tempted to, but i decided not to. so tt i can save up the money. the money that I am left with, is for use till end of this month or start of next month.

gambate!!
i can save money de!

cannot anyhow spend la.. i am now immuned to shopping when i see a sale. anyway i dun shop much for clothes. i shop more for comics, gothic lolita bible (magazines), and gothic lolita clothes.

now, listening to "Zencho" by Malice Mizer. This song is instrumental and is a veri romantic song.

just now a friend of mine sms me and advised me to be careful, and not to believe another friend's words. cuz they are afraid tt i may get conned or cheated by feelings.

i thank them for their advise. meanwhile, i myself have to be more wary of other people.

to those who are concern,
dun worry.
i can resist temptation from pushing the window open and jump down the 18th level(my house level).
i can resist temptation from taking the fan or chair to hit my step sis and step mom when humiliated, insulted and scolded.

i am surprised at myself for my high levels of tolerance, immunity to humiliation and insults, patience towards family and friends, low level of anger, high level of anger management.

emo again ...wtf ....... .......

heee heee

2008-07-14T20:27:00.001-07:00

someone asked me a ques..

i purposely drag the answer .
hhaha

cuz they are so surprised tt he and me will go stead together.
LoL

need to get a new cbox. dunno y , cannot view the cbox, cannot chat. siann..

addicted to malice mizer's songs ...

2008-07-14T02:54:00.000-07:00

i dunno wad happen. sometimes i can view the blog. sometimes cannot ...
da ma de ..
dammit

have to log in to my acc, post something, or change settings or template, den go blog,den i can view the blog.
kanasaiiii

still at work.
finally! finally finish the patent application thing. yeah!!!

mwahahaha

lately been listening to malice mizer's songs. damn nice la ..the songs tt is composed in their early era is soothin, instrumental .. nice....
i often listen to it before i go to sleep at nite. cuz some songs are soothing and is suitable to play as Lullaby. though some are not lullaby, but it sounds nice. not the typical jrock songs, different from the typical jrock band.
eg. Regret, Aegen, Claire, Le Ciel, Gardenia, Zencho, EGEE umi ni sasagu ~the vault of heaven~ , Au Revoir, Premier Amour, Apres midi,

addicted to the "Claire" song *sings*
anata towa , kuru sepia, mada kimi no subetaga mienai ....

doki doki どきどき

2008-07-13T20:42:00.000-07:00

heeeeeeeeee

got to know this new guy... not really new guy. known each other for half year plus... but not close friends..cuz got to know him at my friend's shop.
anyway we got together la... wheeeeeeee

thus, i am in happy mood lately.
どきどき
どきどき
すきてす ....

but due to age difference, i didn't let my family know..
can say i stupid la.. y go for such young guy.. alamak la..
being single for 2 years is considered good and bad thing...
i kept askin myself lots of ques...
when there are 3 candidates on the list, they have been tryin hard for past half year plus.. i didn't consider. but when i met and got to know better the no 4 candidate, and i just accept him quite fast... gosh

.... anyway.. as long as we are happy. as long as he is happy, i also happy la..

cosfest 08

2008-07-13T19:59:00.000-07:00

went to cosfest last last sat.
it was fun and tiring. hahaha
it's been a long time since i last went to a proper cosplay event.
the event organised at chinatown point was inorganised, timing all messed up . kanasai . cuz tt organiser is inexperienced de.

anyway, took loads of pix. but lazy to post up.
if interested, pls go sgcafe to view the cosplay pix. cuz there are lots of better quality pix taken by pro photographers.
i used my hp to take. so the quality is not so good.
cannot find my camera la!!! i dunno where i put it.
think when i was clearing my stuffs, i incidentally put it together in the trash of rubbish , and threw it away.. omg!!!

on cosfest day 1, i cosplayed as megumi yuasa from Blaue Rosen comic. but i cosfucked cuz of the wig. it is too curly. most of the cosplayers notice my hair first, cuz it is curly . and some commented tt i look veri mature and lady in it. but cuz it is curly, the top of the wig was a bit bulging out. thus makin my head look big. kao la... cheebye.
but the curls at end of wig looks nice. i'll try to wash it again in hot water. so tt i can use tt wig again , in further cosplay, or wear it with my lolita clothes..
will look soo damnnn kawaiiii la.
LoL

on day 2 of cosfest, i wore gothic and a bit punk. wanted to do megumi again, and carry a guitar around. cuz megumi is guitarist of the BR band.but sis keep commenting tt i sucks in tt wig. she suggested me to wear gothic punk or jrock, cuz it suite me a lot. woah.. unexpectedly, she like to see me and support me in those dressing.

my sis tagged along on day 1 cuz she never been to such event. and she wanted to see the cosplayers. and she was so excited la..she was even excited and happy, when i got back chiaki and tiara from Honey. my sis like Tiara a lot la. and kept playing with her when we were at Burger King.

on day 2, i was alone. but i went around looking for friends. took more photos on day 2. played with my friends' weapon, sword, gun and posed with it. practicin my poses with weapons.

luckily, i met takuya, nosuke, celine , guoming at end of cosfest. cuz i was alone and wanted to hang around with some friends. and then, i saw them.
wah kaooo.. takuya and nosuke is sooo yaoi lor. they kept posing those yaoi shots and keep giving the yaoi expression.. i kept laughing loud. and their actions drew lots of attention from other cosplayers.

hanged out with them , went to bugis, and stayed till 9 plus..den i went off first lorh..

can't wait for next cosplay event.
i wanna do asagi cosplay.. startin to plan now.

New Job

2008-07-03T03:37:00.000-07:00

Today is the third day of the new job.
Things are bit bored. But i still have things to do. But i have to discipline myself. Cuz at times, i am surfing the net, watching pvs at youtube. LoL.

i am in the admin dept. but also have to do some accounts stuff. right now, the main priority is to apply for copyright, trademarks, patent for the new company. cuz this company is a new company. so , this step is veri important.
i thought it would be easy. read up the info on site, look for the appropriate forms, fill in , and submit. but there are lots of troublesome things to look out for. kao... and while reading the info, i realised tt there are lots of things similar to the law stuffs. i suddenly feel like a lawyer.. hahahaha.
den one of the senior colleague told me that, if i can handle the patents application thing, i am considered a lawyer. 50% of a lawyer ... kaoooo ...

there are only 9 people in the company.
but luckily there are 2 big companies sponsoring and backing up this company.

finally got a new guitarist into my band.
well... not really new guitarist. he is just sessioning for our band.
he is the lead guitarist in my first band.
after the band disbanded, he joined another band.
and i joined my current band.
as my current female guitarist is busy preparing for A level, so she will not be able to join us for jamming for several months.
therefore, i asked my friend to join us.
his skills is average, not bad la. well.. gotta jam with him, in order to know how much he has improved.

till now, my current band has been formed for 8 months plus. jammed a lot of times, covered a lot of songs. but no original songs composed yet. arghh.... veri lazy siah...

tis week, we are coverin dir en grey songs! yeah!! jamming 304 goushitsu no sakura, and The Final. i like the 304 song , cuz the guitar part is easy la. can play while singing.
The final sounds damn great for headbanging. hahahha. the song is shiok siah.
addicted to that song.
can go www.jrock-utilidades.blogspot.com or www.japanvisualkei.blogspot.com to dl the songs.

there are lots of jrock songs there for me to dl and listen .. mwahahhaha

hope to knock off work soooooooon......

tiara and chiaki is at honey place. how i miss them... can't wait for tis upcoming cosfest event. cuz will be takin them back. told my sis bout tiara.. she is excited bout tiara and likes her. hope tt she dun tell mom bout both my dolls. if so, i will sell my dolls away, before my mom sees it and throw it away. haiz .........

told my sis tt tiara is bought as a birthday present for her. but decided to give money as present instead.

kaooooo ........... thinnk most doll owners will encounter such dillemmas with family bah...

weekend ..

2008-06-22T21:15:00.000-07:00

last fri, went to bbq which is organised by my poly friends.
it was at east coast. though it is far, but i dun mind going there.
cuz it's been a long time since i met my poly friends.

when i reach at 7 plus, most of them have reached already.
too bad lg, AR and Xg did not come. sian...
but at least, some of the seniors came back.
the food was not bad, better than the bbq food held in SP during the freshmen orientation camp.
LoL

Jeno was the chef, again.. he likes to cook for everyone. LoL
we bought some drinks, and i bought 2 packets of sparklers.
each packet contain 6 small boxes of sparklers.
the guys did not play with the sparker alone.
nic used the sparklers and make rockets out of it.
the purpose is to watch the sparklers fly like rocket upward into the sky.
LoL

but all the rockets he made was a failure. haha! k..
in the end, smoke was emitted from it and burned up the rockets.
too bad, i forget to record it down and post it up on youtube.
LoL

at least, i went to the bbq and enjoyed myself.
on sat, i stayed home and do housework.
Mom bought new sofas from a caucasian.
erm... i think not buy. it is more like the caucasian moved house, so he gave away his furniture.
it was a UK imported good, cost bout SGD1000. wooohh
we had to clean up the house, sweep floor, mop floor, iron clothes, and clear our own misc stuffs.
Mom was havin menopause for whole day. kept nagging around. sian
at nite, she even scolded sis and beat her, cuz sis talked back to her. haizz T______________T

lucky, on sun, i went jamming.
it's been a month since we last jammed. yeah!! but we still need 1 more guitarist. this time, we'll find a male guitarist den. cuz been lookin around for female guitarist. so hard to find. and our bassist is male. my leader (drummer) suggested that we get a male guitarist to accompany the bassist. wtf?!!?

though we are not a pure gal band, but at least, the male bassist has the right attitude to work with us and has the skills. surprisingly, he went for guitar lessons at yamaha, but changed to bass, as he was not able to find a bassist to jam with (when he is a guitarist). haha.
as for me, i wanted to be guitarist. but turned to vocal instead. cuz been singing for few years. and is more easier to practice at any place and any time.

den, after jamming, we sat outside the studio and chatted for a long time.
after tt, went to ah ma house for dinner, met up with rest of family members. as there is a karaoke system at ah ma house, therefore, ah ma often ask us go her house to have dinner and have karaoke session.

everyone enjoyed themself .
at least it is one good way to destress.
and i decided to treat jamming as a hobby. cuz i will never know what it will lead me to. and at least, it is also one way of destressing at end of week.
LoL

throws glasses

2008-06-19T21:51:00.000-07:00

for the past 2 nights, my mom keep talkin to me, nag , scold me. lucky she did not beat me up.

if not, i think i would have really jump off the 18th level(live at 18 floor) or take the fan and beat her to death.
she dun support me for joining a band. but she allow me to go for it. cuz she wants to see, wad i can do in the band.
she commented harshly that if i joined for fun and treat it as a hobby, it is still fine. but I am serious in it, and that pissed her off.
hey.. though many ppl find tt joining band is cool and fun, but i am really treating it seriously.

I dun like to do things halfway. I want it to be successful, if not , at least , i have experience and i may join some misc singing competition, go taiwan,
and progress further. even if i can't be a big star, at least, i can compose songs and sell to those singers. by composing and selling songs to them can also earn some money.

at least currently, i am working full time. so i have money to pay for misc home expenses, and daily expenses.
i feel like screaming at her that at least I am working, and will give her money every month.
but i didn't. cuz i can't be bothered and dun want to continue to listen to her nagging. last nite, she talked for 40 min.
on wed nite, she talked for 20 min plus.

tonight, there is a bbq held by my poly friends. i want to go and meet up my old friends as it has been a long time since i last saw them.
they are my closest and most trusted friends. ck, xg, sh, nic, medic ken, siti are those whom i can really trust. and they helped me before , when i ask for help.
i tot of not goin tonite, due to my mom.
but it is not worth it. juz bcuz of her. so i dun go ?
freak la
but they are my poly friends, so she would be more relieved, as it is my school friends.

i miss my poly friends
i miss my poly life

--_______----_______--_-__--___--___----_--____________---______

time to rebel
time to make a change
time to step out
the first step

the courage to speak up
has been buried deep in the cells
has been sleeping for years

wheeeee

2008-06-18T20:20:00.000-07:00

WWWWWWWheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I got my first gal dollfie ler.
so happpy!
brought her home for past 2 nights and slept together.
heeee heeee
I am soooo happy.
as she is a Yo-sd, so she is small size.
I can hide her easily on my bed.
Under my big blanket, inside my bunny bag, in between my soft toys and plushie next to my pillow, or right under my red and white pillow.
HHEeeeeeeeee

on mon, alice told me that the doll that i ordered did not come, bcuz the supplier sent the wrong doll.
dammit! but there is 3 other yo sd that i can choose from. so i chosed Mi (rice in chinese). she looks sweet and dainty.
she cost only 170. so cheap! but includin the face up, custom made clothes (sailor uniform, hat), and shoes. in total, it is 307.
it is still k for me. within my budget. yeah!!

though i was sad tt mimi was not here, but Mi looks cute tooo!

last nite, when i was on the bed, playin with her before i sleep. i was experimenting with her joints.
when i turn her head 180 degrees to the back, and when i looked at her from a certain angle, she looks a bit scary.
and i felt a bit scared.
i think it is due to there is no light on, only the moonlight shone through from the window.
den i was considering , maybe i can give her a gothic face up. think it will suit her.
i put her next to me and slept , but i keep wakin up in the middle of the night to make sure that she is next to me.
somehow i just felt that this doll got something. seems like it will awake in the middle of the night.
aiya... think too much ler.

16-06-08

2008-06-16T03:06:00.000-07:00

2 pm

I have sold my luke just now. *sad* (but i only sold the body away)
and suay suay, starhub send me a sms , to ask me to pay for my overdue hp bill.
it is 260.52 nya!!
luckily, the money came in time.
so i can pay my bills and pay for other misc stuffs.
i owe a lot of ppl money, but i borrow 10, 20, 30 only .
but it is still a lot of money. T_____T

anyway, i got my overtime claims and pay.
so, i can pay for my new gal! yeah! just in time!
my yo sd gal.
wheeeeeee

the customer even made onigiri and gave it to me as dinner. waoh!!
i was totally surprised and glad tt she made it for me.

i am really stupid to buy sora and now,i sell him away.
think there are ppl who are startin to hate me or even curse me...haiz

last nite, kena scold and nag by mom.sigh.
luckily she did not beat me.
i used the computer till 11 pm plus. just when i was bout to off the com, she came in to my room and warned me to off the com.
the next thing is she gave me a long paragraph of lectures in the living room.
nag bout :
- not lookin for a part time job on weekend, so i can earn extra money and give her.
- my obsession with japanese songs and culture (useless, does not earn any money at all)
- using the com for such stupid things, eg watchin vids at youtube, at msn
- goin out on every sun , she keeps wonderin wad i have been doing
- play guitar at home, but did not go for guitar lessons.
- being naive
- gettin into the cosplay stuffs, commented badly tt cosplayers are makin themself look ugly, bu yao nian (no sense of shame)

kao. asshole.
kanina chao chee bye
fuckin shit
chao chee bye
chao chee bye
chao chee bye

i dun like my family members to know bout my band, cuz even if they know, there is nothin that they can do.
there is nothing that they can help. cuz we have to depend on ourself, our own hard work.
so, i bo bian, told her bout my band.
she was kind of expected it. cuz somehow, she found out tt i have few friends joining the superband competition.
and my msn title was , ''lookin for female guitarist, bassist, keyboardist for a band. if interested, pls contact me."
she saw my title, so she suspected it.
i thought she will give me a big thrashing after i told her.
but she didn't.
HENG ARHHH!
there is nothing wrong with forming a band. some more, we are practicing hard, trying to look for slots to perform.
that is our passion. performance is our passion.
when i told her the members in the band. her biggest concern is the only male member (bassist).
ha.
she tot that i will be interested in tt guy.
the fact is, i am only interested in the bassist's talent, as he is experienced and has potential. and all of us are on friends term.
this is one of the reason why i wanted to form a all gal band.
cuz there is few local all gal jrock band, so i wanted to form one.
and when i tell my family members tt i in gal band, they dun haf to worry that i will get involved in bgr (if it is a boy and gal band).
one of my policy for band members, no falling in love with each other. cuz probs will arise. unless they are lesbians ?!? LoLoLoL

she only warned me, to be careful of what I am doing.
warned me in a stern tone.
she warned me, cuz if she discovered more stuffs that i am doin, and is of stupid things (to her), she will beat me, take all my pay to pay for all home expenses, or at the worse, she will move out of the house.
if she wants to move out, let her be then.
the worse scenario is that, she move out, and i will have to shoulder all the financial burden. that is fine with me.
i rather have financial prob, den to have emotional prob.
at the most, i'll have one meal per day, go home cook, dun buy clothes. tt is fine with me.
i think the best way, will be, i move out.
cuz i only have to support myself.

both my bro and sis are grown up , and they prefer to work, to earn some extra income for themself.
bro is goin ns soon.
sis is takin O level tis yr. but after tt, she said tt she wants to go work, so that she will have money for herself. she dun need to take money from mom, cuz tt is a big torment for her.

i can take care of myself, cuz i have been livin with my grandma since young. so, therefore, i am more independent den both siblings. housework is no prob for me.
and i will have more freedom!!!
no more reporting to ppl bout the time to reach home.
woooh!!
my sis even commented that i can actually move out already. i don't have to be so scared of her mom. (aka my stepmom).
cuz i am a grown up, earnin my own income, i should stand up for myself.

well..sooner or later. i'll move out. i dun want to wait till i get married, and move out to my hubby place.

lately, my luck has really improved much. after goin to the temple and takin the lucky flower bath. (thx to my step mom)
i am 50% superstitious. dunno whether it has something to do with the trip to the temple.
there is few ppl around me who are willing to help me, by lendin me some money. i didn't dare to borrow much, cuz i feel pai seh.
but they are willin to help me, after i tell them my worries.
it is till then i realised who is the really good friend who will be there to help you.

anyway, i will be more careful in future esp when i am at home.
home is supposed to be a place where one can relax.
haiz..
when at home
- no using of com
- practice guitar and vocals(when okasan is not around) (practice vocal when outside, kanasai...where got vocalists liddat practice)
- read comics, newspaper, novels, no playin of dollfie, watch tv (when okasan is around)

kanasaiii ... where got ppl at home so cham de ...
tt's y i dun want to go home early after work..her mood swing is damn big la...ass hole

there is tis fella who confess his feelings to me. i was shocked, surprised and a bit ...scared.
i treat him more like a friend and little bro.
but he is willin to help me, and listen to my stupid probs. thx bro ^^
got to know more friends thru sgcafe forum. felt happy and relaxed when i hang out with them.
at least i feel better. *phew*

6.08 pm

gtg. end of work . yeah!!

emo

2008-06-13T03:18:00.000-07:00

slept and woke up in the middle of night
thinking of him
I don't know why
the sudden thought of him engulfs me
miss him so much that I cried

the warmth of the blanket feels like the warm hug of his
singing a song of lullaby
Soothes me to sleep

------- - - ---------
| |
| |
| |

_______________

I thank you for the showering me
With concern and care

I thank you for being there for me
When I need someone

I thank you for listening to me
With your patience

I thank you for loving me
When I don't love you

- ---___----- -

I have sold sora away. haiz
the money that I got, will be paid for home expenses, dad's father day present (all thks to sis's suggestion).. haiz
anyway, hope tt he get a good family . (? __ ?)

and i'll be paying for tiara (yo sd) using my salary.
and i think there is this doll owner who mistaken me tt, i am sellin sora and is usin tt money to pay for tiara. wtf...
she didn't know the actual fact at all. it's either she mistaken me or I am bein too sensitive, thinkin tt she is talkin about me. or perhaps she is referin to someone else.
wtf

Doll list

2008-06-04T22:03:00.000-07:00

more dolls wanted, on waiting list

- Volks

- Luts

- Angell studio (Momo -Baby, Leira-1/4)

blah blahhhh

2008-06-04T22:02:00.001-07:00

Last night, I was watching some videos on youtube. then, I thought of the dollfies video. I search using the word, super dolfies.
there are lots of videos on super dolfies. it showed the doll party, doll convention centre, doll shops in Japan. OMG! the dolls are sooo cute and pretty.
They come in various looks and sculpts. The doll owners that they featured in the show have lots of dollfies and they are so pretty. The doll owners spent loads of money at the doll events. there are even mtv, using dolls as models. kawaiiii!

I feel like saying something loudly while looking at non doll owner, "I'm proud to be a dollfie owner."
Their reaction will be like..0_o ...wtf!!???!? hahaha.. juz by lookin at their reaction makes me feel shiok arh!

I feel like buying more dolls to collect.
I want to buy more MSD and YoSD, cuz they are smaller and lighter to carry around, as compared to SD size. Chiaki's weight is still ok. but Sora is heavy.
I have to carry him with both hands. Need to spend more them with Sora cuz been neglecting him for a long time. *huggles Sora*

I am changing job, so I'll have to pass Sora to honey to take care. cuz it will be inconvenient for me to put at home. lucky, I got to know Honey who dun mind looking after my dolls for me. think I'll give her some money for looking after my dolls. nanny fee ? nah.... she is the mommy of Sora nya... The first time we met, I find her big size. (no offence HOney!)but later on, after getting to know her better, she is actually a nice gal, humorous, easy to get along.

11.19 am

I'll still do cosplay once a while, prob once every 2 months. also depends on the availability of events to cosplay. cuz got no time to organize private photoshoots. got to work, band jamming.

There is band jamming this upcoming sun. yeah!! it's been a month since we last jammed! kao! yesterday, i finally found a guitarist to join us ler. but she'll be sessioning for us instead. so that we can have more choices to choose from, if we get few more sessionists guitarists. i didn't expect faustine to join us, cuz i know that she is in poly now. student nya.... i dun want student anymore ... but at least she has the experience, got to know her through the side band thing.

I mass sms 6 gals bout the guitarist thing, asking them to join my band. but only 4 replied me. Tabitha didn't reply!! argh!! i think she dun even want to session for us. When this band has just started, I called Tabitha to ask her join my band, cuz she is experienced and has the potential. She replied that she is already in a band, and she joined them right after her O Levels. wah kaooo! too late!! i worked with her few years back. cuz i session as a vocalist once only for her previous band. but they disbanded liao. that's why, i ask her to session for us, at least she dun have to commit for us, meanwhile i can give her time to consider and join our band. But... she didn't even reply!! i'll try calling her later..hope that she did not change her hp no.otherwise, i'll have to use the chasing method. i'll mesg her on msn, in sgcafe, sms her, call her, till she reply me..

luckily faustine is joining us.. heeeeee.. we still want our current guitarist, hydeistt. cuz she is good too. though she is not experienced, but i can foresee that she has great potential and she is a nice gal to get along. however, she tends to be quiet at times. *huggles hydeist.. long time no see her lerrr*

^^
^^/
\^^/

upcoming new dolls

2008-06-04T22:00:00.000-07:00

Her name is MOMO

She's my favorite Princess

She has curled soft hairs and eyes like diamond

Just like a fairy from the tales

Only delicate words can describe the feeling she give me

So many pure memories left here

Oh,my dear Princess,

please,

smile with your lovely lips,

and then bring me into the air...

Name: Koyume Tenebres
status : the youngest sis in the family
company : angell studio
sculpt : momo
char : sweet smiling face gal, but mischievious

Name : Tiara Tenebres
status : the older sis in the family.
company : angel of dream
sculpt : mimi, 1/6, yosd
char : likes to play prank, hides a knife beneath her sweet smile

blah lah blah blah blah ...

2008-06-03T22:23:00.000-07:00

10 am

yesterday, i went for the new job interview. it went smoothly and I was hired by the company.
the boss told me that I can start work anytime, but can start work at start of july.
as for my current job, i am working till end of this month. 27 may will be my last day.
heee

the other day when i tell my colleague (he is a temp and is servin his last day), i dunno why, i almost cried and choked on my decision.
he is a patient guy and talk to me calmly, and counselled me. he pointed out that though I wanted to resign, however, I am crying. It goes to show that I do not bear to leave that place.

he was right. I didn't bear to leave the place, because I have become emotionally attached to the place. the colleagues are nice, everyone get along well. We are the back office.

anyway, i am quitting. leavin at end of month. now, i can't wait to start my new job. *excited excited*

11.23 am

The system server is slow. I can't generate the damn reports... waitin waitin

this sat is my baby cousin's 2 years old birthday party. her mom is holding a chalet at pasir ris. woah.. my baby cousin is a gal , and she is sooooo cute. like to pinch her cheeks all the time. ahhahhahahaha

tis sun, there is jamming. it's been a month since we last jammed. and i am itching for jamming session.

guitarist busy studyin for A level, drummer preparing for final year exams and go abroad (wtf?!!!!?), bassist and I working. dammit.. we are now lookin for another guitarist. preferably some one who is working on weekdays, and is free on weekends to jam, and is financially okay to jam. i dun want students anymore, cuz it will be better for them to concentrate on studies instead. currently, we'll scout for beginners too, and shall see the potential and commitment level of the guitarist.

FEMALE GUITARIST NEEDED! PREFERABLY EXPERIENCED! BEGINNERS ARE WELCOME TOO!
playing jrock, jpop songs, and some english songs.

song for u

2008-05-27T22:32:00.000-07:00

a friend of mine is having a love prob with her bf. consoled her since last nite till now thru sms. her bf is really damn emo, self centred, only thinks of himself , and suicide, sarcastic to gf, blames himself for everything, complains bout gf's figure. what the fuckin asshole guy

there are ppl out there worse than him. and dying even earlier. refer to the earthquake incidents lately.and he wants to suicide. he dun fuckin treasure his own life, when other ppl is out there busy trying to search for survivors of the earthquake.

i didn't expect him to be so fuckin emo, so fucking dissappointed with him.
got pissed off...

took leave today. this mornin while havin breakfast, in burger king, the radio is playing some songs. and so, decided to write this song about them. as i write the song, i can feel the flames engulfing me. i could feel how she feels. i could almost feel the pain that she feels. cuz i been through tt before. but her case is worse than mine.

this song is for you, my friend.
dear friend, pls do stand up after the moments of turmoil.
you will find a better guy
life still goes on , no matter what.

(rhythm of song is still in processing of brainstorming.)

--__________-__________-___________--______________-----_________________----

after you put down the phone
You worries me more than ever
couldn't find where you go
unable to contact you
it's obvious that you are ignoring me
why does it make loving you so hard?

tried to understand and help you in distress
but you keep pushing me away
no, don't jump off that level
no, don't leave me behind alone

(chorus)
endless tears drown the night, endlessly
heart wrenching pain exists all the time, when we meet
fear occupies my whole body and mind
everytime you leave me
no matter what happen
you'll always be a part of me

swallowed my pride and the sarcastic remarks
despite all the pain that I felt
I don't want to leave you alone
the reason is because I love you more than you love me

(chorus)

help me please ...P.L.E.A.S.E .....H.E.L.P

2008-05-27T21:27:00.000-07:00

been long time since i blog.

desperately lookin for a new job. luckily, i received an email from a online company tt i have been short listed for interview. wonder where they get my contacts. think is through some random job survey bah.. hhahaha. the advantage of doin job survey and leavin my email. just in time, when i want to change job. will be goin for the interview next tues.. all thx to my 2 colleagues. one took leave tml afternoon (when i can take leave and go for my interview!! the other took leave on next mon !!argh!!)

my job now sucks, though the workin environment is good. but i made a big mistake and it involve SGD 51 million!! but after calculating , the loss is bout SGD 6000. heng arhhh... but still... den my boss talked to me. and he is right. he personally thinks that this job does not suit me. well..he is reallly right. i myself also have thoughts of changing job.

but i have to look for a office job, cuz of the money. i have to support 3 ppl in my house. mom's the biggest creditor, 500 to her every month (cries....), sis the loan taker, 100 to her every month for daily expenses, (cries even more...), bro the random loan taker, takes at least 50 from me for every few weeks (as he is not workin now...) . at tis kind of rate, it is difficult for me to save up lots of money. even though i dun take dinner anymore. at times, i really cannot tahan, and will eat dinner. i tried to eat veri cheap stuffs, like fried mee hoon, kuehs, bread for breakfast, and dinner. but i haf to eat something for lunch, so as to support me for the rest of the day. cannot let my family members know that i am broke and not enough money.... and i walked home after work, almost everyday , to save up every single cents for transport. but at times, i cannot tahan, so i take bus directly home.

luckily, my vocal lesson is already over. so i dun have to pay for school fee ler. but i not yet pay phone bill.. bill is 130 ...cuz been surfin net on phone again...argh.. cannot resist temptation of surfin net lar.

been tryin to stop myself from goin to the dolfie section at sgcafe, cuz i will be tempted to buy more dolfie stuffs. and i did it successfully. now , when i look at dollfie stuffs, i will think of the money balance first, den tell myself not to buy anymore stuffs. i even stopped buying gothic punk clothes ler, and comics, and cosplay stuffs, and my fav jrock stuffs.. and my hangry and angry stuffs. (heard tt blood romance mayb importing hangry and angry plushies... omg!! i want tt!!!)
no...cannot spend... waiit.... tt will be months later. so i can start savin up for tt now. mwahhahahahaha.

*Muz wait for me wooooor...my hangry and angry plushie.. you'll be mine sooner or later....**

and dammnit, i juz ordered my Yosd last week..cuz couldn't resist temptation , when i was at alice shop. been thinkin of gettin a yosd for past 2 months ler.... she is on her way liaoooo. mwahahhaha. but for her, i can pay by installments. so , it is within my budget. mwahahahaha

chiaki is gettin a sis soooon.. and is sellin sora away...

Who wants to buy sora?
who wants a luke version 2 , doll of idol dollfie?
70 cm tall
but can wear AA clothes.
he can wear chiaki's clothes , which fits juz nicely.
sellin for 1000sgd.
with a pair of blue eyes, face up (done by me), red wig)
installments payments accepted.
eg. june - 200. july - 300, aug - 300. sept - 200. eg
dollfie will be passed to the new owner after full payment is made.
so, the faster u pay the full amount, the faster u will get ur beloved dollfie.
he is waiting for euuuu...

*looks around, and cries buckets of water**water can be reused for bathing...***wtf?!?**

warning :

if you want to get a dollfie,
do get it with careful and detailed planning of budget.

Luke version 2 for sale

2008-05-26T03:27:00.000-07:00

i am selling sora away. (luke version 2) for 1000sgd. with face up (done by me), pair of blue eyes, red long wig. installments payments are accepted. amount for installment is negotiable. at least sgd$100. means buyer can pay for few months for full sum. dollfie will be passed to him/her after full payment is made.

--__________-----______________________________----__________---__________

i bought him on impulse. and i am payin installments currently. but it is cuttin into my daily expenses. i am tryin hard to save up money and not to sell him.
but i am worried that when my mom ask me for money, i dun have money to give her. and she will nag, scold and beat me. therefore, cuz of my mom, i am sellin sora away. i dun wan her to know bout sora and chiaki. otherwise she will kick a big fuss out, and throw them away. and take all my money away. so i haf to be extra careful.
hope tt someone will buy him. but i can't bear to sell him away at times, as he is still my son.

i ordered a Yosd last week at alice place. because i couldn't resist the temptation of yosd. she looks so cute when i saw her pix on the site. she is from angel of dreams. and she is soooo kawaiii. chiaki is goin to haf a new sis. but sora will be sold away soon. the money earned from sellin sora will be used for misc home exp. luckily, alice allow me to pay by installments for my new Yosd. so, i can only get her in july after paying full amount. yeshh! i am naming her Tiara, cuz i like this name. LoL. and in the website, she is wearin a tiara on her head. kawaiiiii!
well, i am stoppin at 2 dolls. after i get Tiara.

mayb i will get one more next year. but tt will have to wait, after careful planning. must really save up money to buy dolls and cosplay costumes. LoLoL. hahahaha.
temptations are so hard to resist. LoL

yesterday went to street fest at suntec. it was fun meetin up with the other doll owners, also saw my long-time-no-see friends. everyone had fun and was chatting around. a pity that my band did not get to perform for st fest, which i really wanted to . but at least, i get to meet up with the rest of the doll owners. we played with one another's doll, took lots of photos, shared doll tips, chatted bout lots of stuffs. frostburn is funny as he entertain us with his "act cute voice" (voice for his misha).LoL. atsuki was there too who was the daughter of the boss of "Atsuki". she is sooo cute too. and they joked tt she is the live size YoSD doll. LoL.

i did not cosplay as i do not have my complete set of maid costume. cuz amalina borrowed the apron from me. wore bit gothic dressing instead. and it looks not bad lar.

photoshoot

2008-05-06T22:18:00.000-07:00

finally set up a blog for chiaki.. been wantin to do few months ago.
been busy , so didn't set up. till just now.

last sat, went to meet up with lawliet and some other doll owners. cuz we bought sd size handphone from her.
the phones are small and cute. and the dolls are even cuter! kawaiiii!

we sat at city hall and chatted while waiting for other doll owners. too bad, most of them couldn't join us for the photoshoot.
it was quite fun. we went to chijmes for the photoshoot.
link to the photos at the forum :
http://sgcafe.com/dollfie-gallery/t-mini-meet-chijmes-3-may-2008-48941.html

there were 3 of us who brought our dolls along. there is haruka hana (lawliet) , yuriko (alvin), chiaki(mine).
yuriko is the only gal doll. and she is soooo cute! and looks soo innocent in her kimono. haruka is veri handsome too.
my chiaki is cute too! he is lookin more like a caucasian, guess it is due to the blonde wig and brownish eyes and face up.
tt suits him a lot too. killer bunny offered to do face up for both my dolls. i was surprised. but i heard tt she do veri nice and professional
face up. think i'll let her do sora face first, den do chiaki's.

for the photoshoot, we came up with the storyline while taking the pictures.
it was quite interesting.

we took photos till 8 pm plus, den went off for dinner at LJS.
it was a tiring but fun day for us.
it is the first time that chiaki took photos with other dolls.
i feel veri happy and excited.
and as i look at chiaki, he seems to be smiling too, with a twinkle in his eyes.
LoLoL

chiaki, yuriko, haruka

chiakiii is gettin more cute lorrr... the blonde hair and light face up makes him look more caucasian.. heee
my ah boy.. i adore my boy boy a lot ...

when i tell my colleague tt i went for doll photoshoot, she said that it is a crazy idea instantly. i was disappointed, but i smiled and said that
it was my first time goin for such shoot, and it is quite interesting.

from now on, i decided not to tell other ppl about my doll stuffs except for the doll owner friends. haiz... ppl juz dun appreciate dollfies.
they think that we are a bunch of crazy fellas. my sis commented that we have too much free time to take such photoshoots.
we are a group of artistic gentlemen and ladies who appreciates and understands the beauty of dolls. LoLoLoLoLL.

seriously, i rather face a group of cute dolls and play with them, take pix, then to face my sis and mom. cuz they are so irritating, getting on my nerves everyday.
my sis keep spending my money by askin me to buy things for her, dinner, contact lense, misc stuffs. dinner is still ok. but other misc stuffs is unnecessary.

Live Performance Schedule

2008-04-24T21:47:00.000-07:00

To our dear fans out there,
thank you for your support for the past few months.
We are finally performing for the first time. *excited excited*
Do come down and support us.
Thanks for your support and we will continue to thrive on.
Currently, I am trying to compose some original songs.
Will post the songs on the blog.

Do watch out for more of our performance.

ARIGATOU GOZAIMASUUU!

latest update

Name of Band : Rockaholic (Jrock songs)
members : Ace (vocal)
Hydeistt (guitarist)
Ngai (temp replacement guitarist)
Mcs (bassist)
wei (drummer)

1st performance

Event : Lasalle end-of-year school party
Venue : 159 Selegie road, night and day pub
Time : 6 pm
Date : 25 April
Entrance Fee : SGD$6 (not sure if a free drink is inclusive)

upcoming performance :

Streetfest 09
(watch out for this space)

Side project
playing anime songs only

Name of Band : - pending, still brainstorming -

members : Ace (female vocal)
LueSong, and 2 other guys (male vocal)
faustine (guitarist)
Md (guitarist)
Yuji (bassist)
jeno (drummer)

1st performance (unconfirmed)
Event : Cosfest 08
Venue : Downtown East
Time : Full day event
Date : 5th and 6th July 2008
Entrance Fee : Free Entrance

21 april

2008-04-21T02:19:00.002-07:00

yesterday went jamming, but our guitarist are not able to join us. She is busy studying for upcoming tests. The other guitarist who are replacing for the main guitarist for the performance day, couldn’t come due to moving of house. So we do not have a guitarist… argh. No guitar sounds heard except for mine. I only strum a bit siah.. I only memorise “yuuwaku” and “304 goushitsu, sakura no hakushi”.

The 304 song is easy to play while singing. But there is this part where it goes “yurari yurari” is a bit difficult for me to play, as I have to change the chords fast while singing. Arghh urghh urghhh. I am goin to practice this song till I can play it veri smoothly, without lookin at the tabs. Mwahahhaha! Wanted to learn “new world” too, but it requires the finger to be stretched over 5 frets!! My fingers are short!! Damn. And my fingers ached lar! Kau… nvm. I will concentrate on my singing instead.

Yesterday jamming, we jammed the new unfamiliar songs. Samurai drive, Maria (by hitomi), taion (gazette), fortune faded (red hot chilli pepper), somewhere I belong (linkin park).

Samurai drive and Maria are veri high pitched. I have to concentrate on the pitching, and I have to sing out loud with high pitched girly sound. That is the highest pitch I could reach. It is higher than “new world”. Arghh! I almost died on the spot. T_____T I chose that song cuz the drummer hinted that she wants to jam that songs. And I have not listen to the songs yet and I juz make a hasty decision by choosing the songs. Arghhh!urgh! *pulls hair* I am still in the midst of memorizing the lyrics, esp for these 2 songs. Cuz got a lot of lyrics. But luckily, the drummer decided to cut down a lot of part for the “Maria” songs. Cuz the song is repetitive and they dun want to keep repeating the same parts. Hahaha. Thank god. …heng arh.

taion is the song that I couldn’t get it right. Cuz I am not sure the cue to start at. And I actually forget how the chorus sounds like! Cuz we decided to cut down on some parts of the song, as the song is repetitive and it will get on people’s nerves if we keep on repeating the same part over and over.

Fortune faded is the most easiest song that we ever jammed. We jammed it twice and we are done with it. Haha! cuz the singing part is easy. Though repetitive, however the lyrics are short and sweet. And it is veri hippie and comfortable to the ears. Not so hard rock. And the drums are easy. The bass lines are funky and hippie. Even though the guitarist is not around, however I can get the cue and sing along without difficulty, juz by listenin to the bass lines and drums.

As for somewhere I belong, the drummer commented that the drums are the hardest to play among all the songs. Actually I prefer to sing “breaking the habit”, but she said that the drums are even harder for that song. I didn’t choose “faint”, cuz need to scream!! That is a screamo song. I dun want my vocals to hurt for that song. And I dun think I can scream that well. But the slow rapping in the verse is quite okay for me…. Yo yo .. come on..yo man… rap rap rap.. yo yo baby man.. yo …LOL.

I am actually tryin to memorise the lyrics durin work. Lol. Dun think much vocalist will actually memorise lyrics this way. Finished most of the work liao.. only left filing.

Too bad, our main guitarist couldn’t join us for the performance on this comin fri. think she need to study for A levels. And that she is under aged, couldn’t go to the pub to perform. Otherwise her mom will scold her. T___________________________T
Our first live performance leh!

All the more I must protect my voice. So, I am refraining myself from eating fried and spicy food. So that I can perform well on that day. Now, my throat is not feelin well. Cuz yesterday, I had spicy food for dinner. Gosh. Ate Korean food, the spicy rice cake. Yummy yummy.

Yesterday is another doll gathering photoshoot. And I missed it again. Haiz! If I knew, I’ll bring my dolfie along. And my guitar lesson is cancelled again. I have missed a lot of the dolls gathering. Chiaki have been feelin lonely at home. That’s why I brought him to office, so Sora could accompany him.

I wanted to go to doll gathering so that I can know more doll owners. At least I did went for the first Doll gathering last month. And I was happy. Cuz not much people have dolls. And a lot of people have misconception and negative conceptions of doll owners.

Just now, I juz went to the thread where the doll owners met and haf photoshoot of their dolls. They look veri pretty and cute.. argh.. the links:

http://sgcafe.com/dollfie-gallery/t-mini-meet-starbucks-20th-april-freakin-picture-intensive-48351.html

http://sgcafe.com/dollfie-gallery/t-mini-meet-20th-april-08-with-special-guests-48344.html

aren’t they cute and adorable?

Think I’ll organize one in may on Sunday, after jamming. Or maybe durin weekdays in June. It is when most of the doll owners are students, and they are havin holidays. And I will take leave for tt day.

Reply to mizumi777

2008-04-21T02:19:00.001-07:00

Hi hi. Dunno where we are goin to perform. It is being organized by Lasalle. My drummer is studying at Lasalle, so we have a slot to perform. Thanks for supporting!
We have to be there at 6 pm. Think the thing starts at 6.30 or 7 pm.

I feel like askin few friends to come and support us. But dunno can ask who. And bcuz it is in a pub, so there is a age limit too. Haiz.

First performance leh! First performance leh! First performance leh!
I did perform in public before, but that was long time ago. And I was not experienced and skillful enough to handle.

The last time I performed was in poly. I joined the poly star search. Sang a Japanese song, “time limit” by Utada Hikaru. It is a R & B song. But I was nervous, forget few lyrics. When I reached the high pitch part, I was nervous , thus I sounded cranky. Argh!

When I was in sec school, I performed once on stage. But it was a Chinese story telling competition. My classmate and I joined, and both of us won the 2nd prize. Yeah!

I juz like to perform on stage esp for lives, where there is crowd. You get to control the crowd atmosphere by saying few words, smiling, singing and running on the stage. It feels great! Yeahhhoo! Wahooooo!

1 more week to go! And I still have not memorized all the songs yet! Argh! Haf to practice 8 songs nya! I am veri familiar with seasons call, new world, ugly and yuuwaku. Still need to practice maria, samurai drive, somewhere I belong, fortune faded leh.

Gambatee!!!

1704

2008-04-16T22:03:00.000-07:00

Last sat, my sis is playin with my chiaki. And she suddenly becomes the image consultant for him. LOL. At first, I didn’t want to let her touch him. Because she just came back from school and I dun want her to dirty chiaki.

My bro saw chiaki ler. But his reaction is not big. He only treat it as a toy.
My sis kept asking lots of questions. So, I blurted out bout Honey who is the mother of chiaki.. blah blah..the new face up prob..Blah blah. I didn’t like to tell her about my personal stuffs, cuz it find it intruding. And I don’t always tell my prob to sis. She only gets on my nerves. And say words that hurt people, her tongue like a sword, cutting through everything. Same like her mom. And she dun appreciate fine arts like dolfies, cosplay. Hmmph. Noobs. lol

Last night, I reached home at 9 plus. And my sis complained that I reached home late lately. Hellllooo. … 9 plus is still early. At least I did not reach home at 11 or 12 am. And unlike other working ladies, I didn’t go clubbing or pubs to drink, neither did I go shopping and spend money. After I off work, I either go for my vocal lessons or go LAN shop to use computer. Cuz the computer at home lags and is prone to virus. So I prefer to go LAN shop, so I can surf a lot of websites, listen to songs, blog. Sometimes, I go jamming with my band. Jamming is fun though noisy, not so boring as compared to be at home.

At least I have a life. Not so boring ……… sometimes, I will have dinner and play with my dolfie. I can’t play with chiaki at home much, cuz my mom will see it. So I can only play with him happily outside. Haiz.

When I reach home, after I bath, I have to do housework, iron the clothes, tidy up the house. At times, when the floor gets too dirty, I will sweep it. My bro is so fuckin lazy. Tt he can be bothered to do housework. Scold him, discriminate him, use sarcastic words on him for multiple attempts are still no use. So, I can’t be bothered with him anymore. I rather do everything myself.

For the past 3 days, I have been goin to the Tenchi shop to use computer. Bcuz I need to download the songs for jamming. The computer at home is not in good condition, so I can’t use the computer to download the songs directly from the website. I have to go lan shop, use the computer to download, and save it in my gmail account. When I reach home, den I can save the song in the account into my hp. My sis complained that I am doin such stupid things. Hello!! This is not stupid. I rather face the computer , den to face her. she dun understand our passion for music and performance. Really find it useless to tell her bout my band. She knows nothing.

Lately, I have been listening to L`arc En Ciel’s songs. I bought their KISS album last sun. and I am addicted to the songs, it sounds veri nice. My fav is sunatokei, alone en la vida, daybreak’s bell. Below are the links to the song. You can listen to it. I have listen to L`arc En Ciel for the past 9 years. They are the first jrock band that I listen to. 2nd band that I listen to is Luna sea. But they have disbanded.

Sunadokei. - http://www.mediafire.com/?eu9as4yguli
DAYBREAK'S BELL - http://www.mediafire.com/?0mytd4y2ydz
ALONE EN LA VIDA - http://www.mediafire.com/?azvxc9tzxqx
MY HEART DRAWS A DREAM - http://www.mediafire.com/?5mukud1nuhx

I should be listenin to the jamming songs, instead of laruku songs. But laruku songs are veri nice. I am addicted to it. Lol.

I want to jam and perform a lot of their songs. Eg. Sell my soul (need a keyboardist), kasou, ibara no namida, alone en la vida, sunatokei, stay away, honey, my dear, jojoushi, time slip, winter fall, I can feel, seasons call, lost heaven (need keyboardist) etc etc.

to be continuedd...

performance! finally!

2008-04-15T05:11:00.000-07:00

lately been busy jammin.

now in 2 bands. my side band is jammin anime songs. so far , they haf 3 male vocalists. whoever is free, will join in for jammin. i am the only female vocalist. so far jammed ichirin no hana from bleach. also considering houki hoshi.. the jammin is quite fun.

as for my main band. we haf found a bassist!!! finally!! but is a guy. arghhh! cuz cannot find female bassist. there goes my dream of a gal band!! but nvm , at least the guy really can play veri well, and he has 4 years experience. woahhhh!! but i still die die want to find a female bassist. when i was at the soft forum ,lookin through the threads, tryin to look for bassist. i realised something. female bassist are high in demand!!! tt made me feel like learnin bass. bass is actually quite fun and challenging!!! when ever i go jammin, i alwaz take the bass guitar and try out for fun. cuz i dun haf bass guitar mah... hmm.. mayb i should try takin bass lessons.
and my leader aka drummer, cuz she is studyin in lasalle. her school has organised a gig for the students to perform. so we are goin to perform soon!!!! yeasssshhh!
finally!
finally we are goin to perform live!
our first live performance!!!
i can't wait to perform.
it will be on nexct fri. yeshhhhh!!!25 april. in one of the pubs in bugis area. i am so excited. and i am practicing everyday.
haf to practice 8 songs nya!!!!
- new world (L`ARC en ciel)
- seasons call (L`ARC en ciel) leader dun want to perform this song, cuz she say i cannot hit the low note in the startin verse....T________T. i want sing this song nya....
- yuuwaku (glay)
- ugly (dir en grey)
- somewhere i belong (linkin park)
- fortune faded (red hot chilli pepper)
- maria and samurai drive by hitomi

hope tt our performance go smoothly.

I'm sorry chiaki

2008-04-11T10:02:00.000-07:00

I got back chiaki on fri from honey. She pass him to jy for a new face up. When i see him, i was happy . Cuz miss him a lot ! But the new face up looks weird. And i brought sora for her to see. Yeah. Finally the 2 brothers met ! And they are happy to see each other. Not yet take pix of sora and chiaki together.

den after work, i met my drummer . Cuz she want to go shoppin. So, brought her to my friend shop who sell gothic, punk clothes. My drummer like the clothes there. And i also wanted to get a new wig for chiaki. He only have 1 nice wig. But my friend who is owner of the shop. When she see chiaki, she was veri shocked. Cuz of the way the face up is bein done. It is not done professional. And jy didn't dare to remove too much of the eye liner thing in the eye. Cuz she worry tt it will spoil chiaki.

but cuz of the words said by my friend and some other friends at the shop. Chiaki's face is bein sanded esp at the cheeks. Cuz jy wants to sand down the baby fat on his face, and give him a different look. But i like chiaki cuz of the baby fat. He looks cute. And he looks pouty . Tt is y i adore him so much. And i took a closer look. There are signs of sandin on the face. Black patches on face, not cleaned properly, body dirty. My heart wrenched. I am cryin and huggin him while blogging. My heart ache for chiaki. Sorry . . He looks sad and happy to see me.

c : daddy . . . Dun cry. It's not ur fault.
m : sorry ....sorry ....i am not goin to let anyone touch u again..... . .*cries and hug chiaki tightly* miss u lots . . .
c : *wipes daddy tears * miss u too ...*hugs daddy and weeps*
m : i bought some new clothes for u . Try it on for u tml . .
c : sleep early . U muz be tired from workin . *pats daddy to sleep*
m : nitez. *kisses forehead and hugs chiaki and sora to sleep*
s : nite. *hugs chiaki and pats him on the back to sleep*

i am goin to clean him, redo face up , with help from an experienced close friend of mine. And i will not let anyone touch him again. Except for experienced doll owners.
and i thought by sendin him for new face up, will make him look better. But didn't expect him to look like tt. Partly is bcuz of the first face up done by mc. The inner eye part is bein painted . And accordin to another friend, jy didn't dare to remove those parts. Cuz she worry tt it will spoil chiaki. So, she juz draw on him. He still looks cute, but different. There are still room for her to improve on.

nitez . Sleepy

Drowsy and lost

2008-04-05T10:45:00.000-07:00

I feel lost . I am sick for tis whole week. Everyday, i feel drowsy and dizzy. I dunno is it bcuz of the medicine tt is causin the drowsiness.

i couldn't concentrate at work. My colleagues start to doubt my workin ability. And they thought that i am changing job soon.

i fear everyday. I fear a lot of things. I fear my things, freedom being taken away from me.

lately, i got to know this guy who is younger den me. He knows my age, yet he still wants to go after me. i was surprised. But , i think he treats me juz as a friend. But i can feel tt he likes me. And i like him too. I told sis bout him. Sis was not supportive at first cuz of the age gap. But upon hearin his good academic background, and now he is runnin a small biz. She became supportive of our relationship. And even told me to go for it. Lol. But i worry tt he may meet better gals in his university lessons, and dun wan me. Think i too much ler . . .

i am startin to miss him a lot. ^^ . I dun even know whether he really wants me or not. I scared leh . .

i need some one to enlighten me, accompany me, love me . Pls . . . Guide me out of this place. I am lost . . Lost my sense of direction. Cryin endlessly again . . Am i havin depression again ? Who can help me . . . . .

o

self asked ques.

2008-03-30T21:25:00.000-07:00

today took sick leave. now feeling dizzy, and sleepy, cuz juz took medicine.
now in lan shop blogging, hhahhha..
dun wan go home.cuz mom at home.
sian.

bein bo liao.. so did the following quiz myself. u can do it too, if u wish to.

1. Wad music do you like to listen to?
I like to listen to all types of music.

2. Why do you like to listen to all types of music?
Bcuz different types of music gives different mood and they can be played at different events.

3. Why do you like Japanese rock so much?
Because i juz like it a lot!(LOL) it is different from the normal chinese and english soppy love songs.

4. Why do you like singing japanese songs?
Bcuz it sounds nicer! ??!? lol . it is different from chinese and english songs. so, when i scold ppl in the song, they will not understand it. lol

5. How long do you intend to sing and jam japanese songs in your band?
ermmm... nver thought of. 30 plus.. i can be like the female version of hyde. sing and perform till age of 30 plus, and still goin strong! lol

6. Have you thought of stop listening to japanese songs, and revert to the normal life style?
No. seriously no.. erm.. why should i stop listening, when there are lots of nice songs waitin for us to discover? reverting back to normal life style.... i have tried that, but seriously, it is damn boring. so , conclusion is : Jrock is my music.hahhahaha..

and i realised tt, by askin my self these ques, it helps me to understand myself more. and it gives me a clearer image of wad i am goin to do in future. u often hear ppl tellin u tt, "sometimes i also dunno wad i want.and wad i should do in life. " so, by askin urself ques, it helps you to understand yourself more, get a clearer picture of wad you are goin to do, and knows what is your goal in life.

kkk.k.lame....

sora tenebres (my new boy, LUke version 2)

2008-03-25T05:53:00.000-07:00

i got my new boy yesterday. didn't expect tt i could take last min, so was free after 1 pm. cus the work load is little. finished my work at 12 pm. and hk branch is havin holiday at hk. so can take off, some more, it was my senior colleague who
sugggested to me tt i could take leave for half day.

went to meet terminal insanity (cuz i ordered a hoodie for chiaki), pick up my new boy, den went to buy materials for face up, den visit alice. lucky, i went to alice place. cuz she had new doll stuffs in. so i bought a new wig, new pants, new shoes for my new boy. his name is sora . yeah..

hi yo.. (yawns). i am now in my dad's office. waitin for dad to off work

i did the face up by myself, durin dinner time. took me 45 min to do everything. glad tt i could do it better den chiaki's face up . but i need to improve on drawin eyebrows, doin blushing... the lips is orange, but turned out to be a bit yellow in the pix.. damn..

i carried him in my big gold color nike bag, and he can fit in. but i need to bend his knees, so tt he can lie inside.

candid pix

yo hii..(\*yawn*

hey dad..pls get. tis. damn. thing. off. my . hand. pllssss. it is veri annoyin.
me : hey.. tt is to protect ur hand, boy.

DOI Luke version 2 boy

2008-03-21T07:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, i ordered him at sgcafe forum. Cuz someone is sellin it .

he is a doi luke version 2, dollfie . Omg ! I wanted a dod doll . Went to www.dreamofdoll.com . And took a look. He look so handsome and pretty boy. But the doll has no face up. So i decide to do the face up for him. And i will do it according to the face up tt is shown on the website. Yeah ! I can't wait to get him from joy.

it is stated as usd 595 at the website. After convertin to sgd. It is 895 plus. But the person sellin at 1000 which includes eyes, wigs, clothes. And face up ! I think so. Omg ! I want it !

now chiaki has a new bro . Chiaki is now with honey, my "wife". Cuz she havin holiday, is alwaz at home. So, decided to pass chiaki to her. At least she got some thing to do, can take care of him, and he will get a place to stay temp. Cuz i worry puttin him at home.

the other night, i put him on my bed. Went to toilet. When i went back to room, my bro went to my room and came out. Think he go to the room to get something. He must have seen my doll. Gosh.i Must be careful. Esp my mom. Muz be careful.

anyway, i gettin my new doll soon. Yeah. Can't wait.

his name will be sora tenebres. Sora means sky in japanese.

had a hard time thinkin his name. Instead of choosing a fanciful name. I chosed a simple name. Cuz i was lyin on my bed, lookin at the blue sky. Sora sora sora . . . . Ha ha. Can't wait to get him.

chiaki luv luv

2008-03-09T22:44:00.000-07:00

some of the pix that i took and i like it a lot.

2008-03-08T19:23:00.000-08:00

Ohayou !
woke up ler. And chiaki is lyin next to me. C : ohayou daddy. *rubs sleepy eyes*
me : lazy pig . *ruffles chiaki messy hair and kisses forehead* had a good nite sleep ?
C : ya. *yawn and hugs teddy bear* where u goin later ?
me : i goin jammin . Den go for guitar lesson.
c : i wanna go too ! *eyes wide open and jumps up*
me : boy boy ar. It is veri noisy de. And i goin for lesson. So i have to carry my guitar and amp to the teacher house. So, i can't carry u. Veri heavy eh . .
c : i wanna go . *pouts and 撒娇*
me : 乖乖。下一次再带你去。

and it is time for me to bring him go see his mommy . But i not able to take leave now. Cuz colleagues are busy clearin leave. And i have cleared my leave for last yr. So, i have to wait till after april , so tt i can take this year leave. Chiaki been askin me how does mommy look like. And he dunno wad to call me. Master ? Mom ? Or dad ? So he finally decided to call me dad.

goin jammin later. And damn the bassist. Cuz she not able to join us again ! For stupid lame excuse ! And i wanted to persuade them today, to join the "superband" competition this year ! I want to join ar . . . . . Lucky i still got a bassist on my list.

and damn. My sis found out bout chiaki yesterday. Cuz she saw him lyin on my bed, when i was still asleep. God damn it. She scold me for wastin money. Sigh. I can't be bothered. She dun appreciate such stuffs, fine art.

most imptly, cannot let my mom know. I will have to be careful.
chiaki looks at me and is worried .

dun worry. Will not throw u away. *hugs chiaki and kisses his forehead*

7 mar

2008-03-06T21:18:00.001-08:00

lately, i am going dolfie crazy.
been surfin the net for pass 2 weeks and ordering dolfie things for my dolfie.
so, i am tryin veri hard to restrain to my self, from goin online and buying things on impulse.
cuz the things looks veriiii cutttteee. and i keep thinkin, tt it will suit my doll(chiaki).
yesterday, finally went to LAN shop and upload the pix that i took and upload to sgcafe and blog.
there are too many pix to upload, and i am so damn excited bout it.
and i have spent a lot money on chiaki. think spent bout 900 +++
doll : 380
wigs : 2
face up : 25
restring : 5
eyes : 20+5 = 25
clothes : lolita set - 35, white turtleneck - 17, white top with embroidery - 15 = 67
shoes : white boots - 39
pants : 7
choker : 15
digital camera : 259
stuffs for cleaning up & face up : pains - 8+5+2 = 15

omg.. i actually spent bout 839 ++.
i could buy 3 set of cosplay costumes and 1 set of lolita dress. gosh!!
finally bought the camera to take pix. so tt i can take clear and nice pix of chiaki... damn.
i am gettin more engrossed in the doll hobby. and i cannot bring him out at house. otherwise, my sis, mom, bro will kick a big BIG FUSS out of it.
they are not supportive of me doin cosplay except for my bro. so, all the more, they will not like my doll. cuz need to invest in a lot of $$$$.
well..... now, i haf to save $$ even more. so that when my family members ask me for money, i will have enough for daily expenses.

lunch time!!

rest of pix

2008-03-06T02:27:00.000-08:00

lazy to post up all the pix. rest of pix are here.
http://sgcafe.com/showthread.php?t=45978

part 1

2008-03-06T01:35:00.000-08:00

hi master. look, i got a new face up.

and new hair!
*tries to style own hair*

special appearance by ruki

2008-03-06T01:22:00.000-08:00

introducin my 2 other dolls. erm. they are actually pinky series of dolls. the head and body is interchangeable. bought and kept them for bout 3 years plus liao.

(black hair = kuroki)
(orange hair = takoko)
k : yo! finally we make an appearance, after keepin us in the drawer for 3 yrs!
t : well.. she did display us in the office at times. and i see she got a new doll again.

after changing clothes

k : the blue bag is cute!

k : dressing up is fun!
t : we should do tis often.
me : only when i am free durin work... dudes...

k : my fav is this suit. cheerleader outfit!
t : this is my default outfit.
k : yeah. it suits you. emooo...
t : heh. i am not emo, but coool.
t : tryin to act coooool...

more comin up .........

chiakii!

2008-03-06T00:08:00.000-08:00

i have loads of pictures to post of him.
finally got a new digital camera, so now i am at lan shop uploading the pix.
i take lots of pix of chiaki everyday in office. after i finish my work, and got nothing to do.

argghh.. too many pix to upload. the com is lagging. slloooooowww.... ppl. watch out these space. for my chiaki...

chiaki new face up

2008-02-28T20:06:00.000-08:00

his new face up

it was minichaos bday on wed.

"Happy birthday to you and to myself."

yaoi pix of chiaki and rukai (minichao's dolfie)

i5 i+ L () \/ 3 ?

2008-02-24T21:39:00.000-08:00

last sat, went to music garage. as there is an event goin on , the Jae connection.
but they were havin a competition at bishan, junction 8 and i couldn't go.
so, i went to music garage first, but there is some live gig by the local malay bands.

i went to the karaoke room , and saw 2 other gals who are on their laptop. so i took the guitar at the side, and practice my guitar skills.
den, played ps game in the game room. later on, the other ppl came back. went for dinner wif them.

i was angry at sam. cuz he called and told me tt he already went to the gig at DXO, and is goin dinner with aries and the others. and his hp has some prob, he couldn't mesg ppl. i was angry cuz i was waitin for his call for the whole day. told him before hand tt i am free, and can tell me where and wad time to meet. but he is juz busy with his own stuffs. awww.. ...argggh.

den i mesg aries and ask her where she is, she never reply me. kaoooo... so, last min , i decided to go MOS. mesged the both of them and stated tt whoever is free, can join me . had few drinks at MOS alone. sian.
den sam called me, cuz he is at clarke quay too.he came over and look for me, juz when i was bout to leave for home. damnnn... anyway, we met up for awhile and chatted.and i was sooo happy tt he came to look for me. wanted to go his house, and learn guitar from him, cuz he is a guitar teacher. and we have nothin to do , bored... but my sis mesged and hurried me home. arghh.sian... better get home b4 mom kbkp.

last week, we met up and went for lunch at a japanese restaurant. ate, slacked, chatted for bout 2 hours.. ahhahaha.he is cute, humourous, naughty boy.. so different from my previous bfs. damnn.. and i like it. bwahaha . den we shopped around, and played pool. den met aries, yuxing and ID, den help aries to shop for new clothes.

missing him now

18 feb

2008-02-18T02:12:00.000-08:00

18 February 2008, 2.46 pm

went to matashiki’s birthday chalet over the weekend. Had fun!
On sat, went to the bishie club photoshoot. It is damn fun lorh. But too bad, domoku couldn’t make it in the end. Cuz one of her grand parent passed away, and they live in Malaysia. So, domoku and her family had to go Malaysia on thur. sian!!! Argh!!! I missed her! awwwww…and I couldn’t take photos with her on sat. so I called areal along, to be my partner. Areal is my poly friend whom I have known for few years. So, we were feeling quite okay when taking close intimate shots.

Too bad a lot of other gals couldn’t make it. Eg. Bloody August, Zeph, sochii, etc. sian. But I got to know other gals, and knew new friends. Yeah! Monkeu really looks boy boy! Esp wif her make up, bleached hair and dressed up.

Kia kia’s red kimono is striking. And she looks damn bishie.. esp when she reveals her shoulder. Wooahhh…drool. Her hairstyle suits her a lot too. And she took the most pictures. The photographers took lots of her pix, cuz her kimono is really nice. and it suits kia kia a lot.

Misha looks bishie, and she reminds me of alex from Gethsemane. Bcuz of her hair, thick lips, and features. But she looks more cute. She is dressed in normal punk clothes. She is also in the blaue rozen cosfest group. And she is cosplaying as Okita Ai who is the drummer. Ooohh.. I am cosplaying as Megumi Yuasa, the long black hair guitarist. So far, only met her and sochi who is in the blaue rozen group. Can’t wait to meet the other members. And I want to see who is cosplaying as Mizuki (the lead female character). Misha is damn funny, she and monkeu keeps entertaining the rest of us. I kept laughing at them and played along.

Oso saw some other familiar faces, like Alucard, tsuyin, minichaos etc. everyone had fun, and took lots of pix. But, I looked sucky in some pix. Cuz tilt head in wrong angle, closed the eyes, blah blah…

minichaos, monkeu and me brought our dolfies along. and took pix of our dolfies too. yeah hey.. soo cute .

Areal had to went off first, and I stayed on. Den, we went dinner and I had to go. Cuz I am goin to matashiki’s birthday chalet at pasir ris.

Aries, Amelia, totchi, mata’s 2 friends who is also celebrating bdae on tt day, and some other friends were there already. Sam was there too!!! Gosh! I was surprised and happy to see him.

Ate bbq food, slacked around, joked and chatted, watched them play Wii, den I joined in too. It was fun! We played “raving rabbits” which is sooo addictive and fun! We played till 12 am plus. we drunk beer, vodka shot (cuz no tequila, replaced tequila with vodka). sam and i drank the most. Den, aries, sam and I chatted till 5 am plus. Aries was tired, so she slept first. So, sam and I chatted till 7 am plus. we were like flirting around, but most of them , we chatted about music, guitar stuffs, movie, hobbies etc. and we both dozed off. Cuz we are too tired.

Den, on sun, slept for 3 hours. Den went jamming with my band. Sam and aries came along cuz I invited them. And it has been a long time since aries went to watch jamming session.

I screwed up the first song which was “yume miroshuo jojya irarenai”. Cuz I was veri tired, did not haf enough sleep, lack of water. During the last attempt to jam the song, I actually stopped, tried to sing, but couldn’t, cuz my body was tired, couldn’t sing high voice, den, my tears came. I was angry at myself. I turned my back towards the others, facing towards my guitarist, and wept. I wiped away the tears with back of my hand, and calmed myself down and continued. So, I missed singing one big part of the song. Though I was facing my guitarist, but she was busy playing, so she didn’t see my crying.
Den, I felt better. And we jammed “Season’s Call” and “New World”. I sounded better in that.

5 pm

my drummer actually knew sam as friends. i was surprised. all of them get along quite well, to my surprise.

Den, aries and I were playing around, mimicking the chipmunks voice. Singing random songs, English songs, metal style songs. Cuz aries (vocalist) and sam (guitarist) are in the same band, and they are playing English metal and rock songs.

I knew aries for 2 years plus, but this is the first time that I hear her sing. She sounds good. Better than me. I must work hard too! Den, she sang her own composed song. But she could only sing the verse, than she couldn’t continue. So I continued, listened to the tempo, composed and sang the chorus part on the spot. After the chorus part, sam played a veri nice guitar solo on the electric guitar which is in the studio. den aries came in and I sing the starting part again. Woah! It feels good. Aries was surprised tt I could compose. Christina was shocked and praised me. Hhahaha….

While on the way to the jamming studio, aries, sam and I was mimicking the chipmunks voice and was singing. We were laughing away and high. In the studio, we continued doing that. My drummer is very hyper and she joined in, singing and shouting randomly, and it was damn funny. Everyone was laughing away. This is the craziest and most fun jamming session that I ever had. At least I relaxed a lot, as compared to being at home. My guitarist is quiet by nature, so she sat down on the floor, practiced on the guitar alone. And we kept trying to talk to her, entertain her. and so, I composed and sang a song for her on the spot. Hey.. it sounds good too. It goes like this:
My beautiful guitarist
You’re so cute
Your beautiful long black hair
You never tie it up, and let it down
It suits you a lot
I know that you have been practicing hard
Despite that you are studying
But don’t worry
We’ll be here for you
Just try your best in whatever you do
You will make it

But, I was singing in Chinese. Haha…it feels good just by listening to some strumming of guitar or keyboard, and then compose songs on the spot. Cool.. …

They are all talented in their own field of area. And I am impressed by it.

Den, we went for dinner at marina square shopping centre. Den, Guitarist had to rush home to study for test. Drummer had to rush off to her grandma house to visit her. sian.. so aries, sam and I went to arcade.

Thx to my sis. So I had to go home, and buy food for them.

At least I had fun. Haha.

4.59 am

2008-02-10T12:59:00.000-08:00

Woke up from listenin to songs. Cuz i on my music till i sleep. Den woke up, listen to songs. Couldn't sleep. Kept coughing, tried to sleep , but cannot, havin slight fever. The weather is coolin to sleep. But i can't sleep ler.

havin bad cough. When i wake up later, muz go see doc. Now dun have running nose, but have cough. Lucky tt i did not have sore throat. Still havin cold. Gosh. Fancy bein sick durin chinese new yr. Sian. This yr, new yr, we did not visit any relatives at my dad side. Cuz most of them are not on good terms , and they dun wan to give ang bao . Stingy.

really can't sleep. And i left chiaki in office. So he is not beside me now. Sian. Miss him. . . . I want take photos of him. Ha ha. I feel like buyin a camera , so i can take pix of him. And also can take my own pix. But i dunno wad model to buy. And my home computer is spoilt. So, can't upload pix from my hp to com . And usin a camera is better. Cuz the resolution is better , can load pix to any computer. Tt means i can go lan shop to use com.

really can't sleep .

kept thinkin bout lots of things. Cosplay plans, maybe takin course, band stuffs, dolfie clothes to make, organising photo shoots, maybe pay cosplayers money whoever join my photo shoot and future cosplay group. Etc etc.
den i realise tt, i dun have to quit my band and cosplay juz bcuz of my family. It is so ridiculous to quit juz bcuz of them. And is not worth it. I cannot imagine my life without cosplay ler. Without goin to sgcafe to spam. Without havin a dream. I want to jam with my band. Also plannin, travel to taiwan and japan, to get some contacts and know friends there. Get my band members to perform overseas, come up with own original songs, release singles and albums. Ha ha ha. Think too much ler.

cannot sleep ar. . . Insomnia .
1 sheep
2 sheeps
3 sheeps
...........
121 sheeps
122 sheeps
123 sheeps
.........

sing lullaby . . .
close ur eyes
go to sleep
all the birds come out and sing
la la la la la la la la la la

Happy new year !

2008-02-09T09:18:00.000-08:00

Today is sun ler !
new year is quite k for me tis yr.
on the new year eve, went to uncle house who is my mom's eldest bro. Well, he is rich . Every yr, we go his house for steam boat. There is no steam boat tis year. But at least there were nice food .
on first day of new year, went to my grand mom house . She is my mom's mom. Collected ang bao , ate lots of food, played poker card, only won 8 dollars for whole day. Damn ! Went to watch movie with cousin, sis , bro , sis's good friend, cousin's friend. Went to watch the "chang jiang 7". The movie is funny and lame. The alien dog is cute and funny lor . Ha ha.

on 2nd day, stayed at home to do house work. On 3rd day, (saturday), went to 3 ppl house with the spla friend. Went to shane house, who lived in a bungalow. He had lots of comic collection, gundam models on display in his room. Wah seh ! Den the guys played "devil may cry 4" on ps 3. The game is fun . And there is lots of weapons ! Woah. I feel like doin devil may cry cosplay. And they were playin on a 40 inch plasma tv ! The resolution is good and veri clear. Had pizza for lunch. And they played the number terminator game durin lunch. The loser will have to eat the pizza which is added with lots of tabasco sauce and chilli. Ha ha. I did not tiok at all. Heng ar . . Ha ha.

den went to kenneth house at 4 plus who live nearer to ang mo kio mrt. He had his figurines, gundam models, anime magazines, posters, anime side products on display. They are displayed in a big cupboard. Posters are pasted on the wall. Wah seh ! He had lots of shana figurines and posters and magazines. Ah. I like shana too ! Every month , he will spend 200 plus on his collections. I sat on the floor, flipping through his magazines. Megami , newtype, His, and some other anime and otaku magazines. The guys were chattin and lookin at his collections.

den, at 6 plus. We went to shaun house who also live at ang mo kio , but he live at the bungalow. Went there to have buffet for dinner. There is this swinging chair thing in his open air kitchen. Xavier and me kept sittin on it and play with it. The other fellows keep pushing the chair , to swing it. Lol. Den, they suggested to play poker card in the living room. At the same time, there were nobody at the mahjong table. So we changed to play mahjong. Siti wanted to learn to play the game . So we taught her the basics. As we are all noobs, so we played it the simple way. Didn't play money. I won 4 times . For 2 times, i won by zi muo which means self touch. It means tt i took the last tile myself and won. Shiok ar!

den every one left together. And no other ppl want to join the 3 of us. So , everyone left together . Sian. At first , i wanted to leave at 8 pm, den go kinokuniya at liang court , to buy comics and magazines. But stayed for the mahjong game instead. Ha ha. Too bad nic never come. Cuz he can play mahjong quite well. Too bad tt a lot of ppl did not join us. Like dave, jeno, davis, aries, nic, chun kah etc. Sian.

den went home. Now watchin anime on channel u. Bro and sis not back yet. Though it's boring . But good too. Lol. Cuz is not so noisy. I want go kino to buy comics and mags leh. Sian.

and damn it. My home computer is officially dead. When i on it, there is this beepin sound . Wah liao. Spoil again! No com to use. Have to use my hp to blog.

nite lor . Zzzz

chiaki dolfie

2008-02-05T22:37:00.001-08:00

6 February 2008

9.58 am

The work load for today is very little, however I have some trades that I have to wait. Wait for the nominees dept to open code, wait for broker to send confirmation, wait for ipt to key in trade.. argh.. why is everyone so slow?

Damn.

This morning, when I wake up, my cold got worse. I am really worried that I may get sore throat. Cuz I am the vocalist, so I must take good care of my throat. Guess what?
“Fei Chang Superband” is back! Yes! It is the competition for bands. I have been waiting for it since 2 years ago. Finally! Now, I have a band. I really hope that we can join. But, I dunno whether my members want to join or not. Also have to ask my leader. But, I think most probably they dun want to join. Bcuz we are still new. We only formed for 2 months, jammed together twice. So we dun have any experience. So, it looks like we will have to wait for another 2 years for the next competition. But I have been waiting for it for so long. T_________________________________________________________T

yesterday I finally got my dolfie! Cuz I received my bonus already! It’s 6000! Wah! It is out of my expectation. At least I can pay for bills, and give mom some money. I decide to name it Chiaki. Cuz tiara really sounds girlish nya. So, I name it chiaki. Cuz I like chiaki from the nodame cantabile Japanese drama. Haha.

den, went to Black Alice and bought a pair of boots for him. But he dun haf any clothes, so I had to use scarf to wrap him up.

Goin to sew some clothes for him. Soo happy. But I have to be careful, cannot let my family see him. Otherwise, they will take him away from me.

Today can off work at 3 pm, due to Chinese new year. Yeah yeah. Can’t wait.

6.06 pm

2008-02-04T02:14:00.000-08:00

4 February 2008, Monday

6.06 pm

haf finished most of my work already.
Today I am feeling veri sleepy most of the time. I don’t know why I am feeling so weak today.
This morning, it was raining heavily at my place. The weather is so good to sleep in, and I slept till .7.50 am. Lucky, I was not late for work.

The moment I stepped into the office, I slumped into my chair, and dozed for a while. For most of the time, I lied on the table dozing off for few min. I don’t know why I am so sleepy today.

Yesterday, the jamming was cancelled due to 2 members feeling sick. Sian.

Went to alice shop and slacked for the whole afternoon, then I went to meet domoku for the discussion of the bishie photoshoot. Yeah! I can’t wait for the photoshoot.

Met her at jurong point, then we sat down at kfc, and chatted for almost 2 hours. Haha. den, we walked around, and had dinner. She is quite nice, friendly. Though she appears to be quiet, but actually once u talked to her, she is quite friendly. A veri mature gal too. And she looks cute when she smiles! Haha. now I really can’t wait for the photoshoot. We discussed bout the storyline, clothes to wear, poses to take etc. I am glad to know her and to be her partner. I hope that I can make it on that day. Cuz I dun want to stay at home. So sian.

Been a long time since I went for photoshoot.

Life is sooo boring. …

sick

2008-01-29T00:06:00.001-08:00

today finally went to see doc. actually wanted to go work, den see the company doctor, cuz it is free. medical expenses will be paid by company. but i cannot tahan, so i went to see doc near my house area.

didn't went home, cuz feelin sian. everyday at home is sian, despite tt there is bed for me to sleep. took sick leave, ate breakfast, ate medicine. feelin bit better.. so went back to clubhouse and slack. watched ''initial D'' anime wif nic and darren, read comics, had lunch.

currently, reading rosario + vampire comic. like the comic. long time never read comic ler. and i like the comic. it is bout a human studying in a monster school , where all the monsters are in human form. there is various monsters in the school, with different capabilities and weapons. and the main guy char is the only human in the school. he met the main gal char who is a vampire. but is a kind hearted, pretty vampire. lots of things happened between both of them.

juz now slept for quite long. now, feelin much much better ler. but my throat feels dry, need to drink lots of water. damn la. how to practice singing in this condition? didn't went for vocal lesson for 1 whole week, cuz sick. nvr see doc for 1 week, tot tt i can be cured juz by drinkin lots of water and take flu medicine. but it does not help. cough is gettin worse..

this sun, my band decides to jam "new world" and "seasons call" by L`arc En Ciel, "yuuwaku" by glay(temptation). at first, thought that seasons call is more difficult to sing as compared to new world. after my leader listened to the song, she said that the chorus part sounds lower than new world. so, tt means, if i can handle "new world", i should be able to handle "seasons call". gambatte!
last nite, practiced "seasons call". i still can handle it, despite my condition. but i had hiccups, so i sang halfway, hiccup, sang, hiccup..aiyo. sounds so funny siah...
"yuuwaku" is the first song that i sang for a band. i once sessioned for my friend's band few years back, and we did "yuuwaku" and "rusty nail" by X japan. i prefer "yuuwaku", cuz it is lower, and need to project it powerful. and now, we are doin that song again. woah yeah! old songs sound nice too!

yesterday went to alice shop, and played with Ruki. i have this white satin material cloth in my bag, so i used the cloth to drape it over ruki. and came up with different clothings, by folding it and wrapping ruki in different ways. yeahh.. can use tt as a new clothes for Tiara.. haha. my boy boy..

28 January 2008, 2.17 pm

2008-01-28T02:06:00.000-08:00

28 January 2008, 2.17 pm

the workload today is lesser. Has finished all the work already. Just helping to do filing.
Planning the design for Tiara’s clothes currently. Few tshirts, some with designs, either handsewn on or using fabric paints to paint.

Last week went shopping with mom , sis , bro. in the end, bought 2 dresses, 1 pants, 1 blouse, 1 tshirt for me. Also bought clothes for rest of family using vouchers. After looking at all the new clothings, I realized that the pink dress that I bought on my own looks the best.

Just now was looking through the SOY(didn’t went for the event ) event pictures, and find that the cosplayer pix are not bad. But my fav is looking at the dolfies pix at SOY!! I am going dolfie maniac now!! Arggggh! I am still waiting for my Tiara boy!!

T__________________________________________________________T

I miss my boy boy!!! I want my boy boy! I can’t wait. another 3 more weeks to go.
Like some of the dolfies at the SOY. Fav is willows doll, by the name of Yoruko. 2nd fav is Kureya which belongs to yumi. Cuz it looks veri cool, especially with the black specs. I am looking at dolfie’s pictures everyday. Oh how much I like it . ^^

Juz now came across someone’s thread at sgcafe forum. The person state that his/her mom is going crazy over the doll, and his/her mom made a bed for the dolfie. Woah!! I also want! I felt so jealous cuz the mom is supportive of the doll’s existence in the house. So good. My mom will kick up a big fuss de.

Yesterday, went jamming with team mates. The bassist is sick, so only left the 3 of us. Jamming without a bassist seems to feel different. So, the part when the bass solo comes in for the song, I have to listen to the drum and guitar carefully. Unexpectedly, I could sing quite high. But I could feel my voice breaking at times, due to flu and cold. Now, still having flu, cold and cough. Argh. I finally memorized the lyrics for the whole song, without looking at the lyrics. Yeah.^^

Previously when I am with the first band, I often jam with drummer and keyboardist only. But the keyboardist is veri slack. So, I had to play the guitar. So I am used to jam without bassist and guitarist around. A lot of time, I had to listen carefully to the drum beats and by memory.

For this current band, though we only have one guitarist. But she is quite hardworking and learnt quite fast. I can see that she is talented too. She learnt for 1 year, and plays better than me. I never went for lesson, so far only practiced on own.

Our guitarist is a big hyde fan! She likes hyde a lot and has most of L`arc~En~Ciel songs. Woah. I have 5 albums, so we both discuss a lot of their songs. Hahaha. Though drummer is not a big fan of hyde, but she likes some of the songs only. As for bassist, she likes gazette a lot. Think she likes some of L`arc~En~Ciel songs. I prefer L`arc~En~Ciel songs more than I like the members. But I do like hyde too. Cuz he is handsome!! Hahaha! Drooooolz. And hyde is almost 40! Omgosh! And he still looooks soooo hot!! And he is still single. Guess he had a hard time lookin for a gal friend who approves of his job.

After the jamming, drummer, guitarist and me went to kino at orchard. I showed them the section where official score books are shelved at. Cuz, that is where I bought the “awake” official scorebook by L`arc~En~Ciel.

Then, guitarist had to go home. So, drummer and me went to the basement and sat down on the stairs. Cuz the seat near the fountain are all taken up. I sat there, and was feelin bored, and my fingers were itching, so I took out my guitar and practiced ‘new world’ on guitar. Woah. It feels great, after stretching my fingers. And I finally could play the starting of the song. My fingers were feeling numb and tired. Cuz all the four fingers are stretched out over 5 frets! Argh! The indes finger barres the 2nd fret, middle finger is at 3rd fret/4th string, ring finger is at 4th fret/2nd string, and the pinky is at 6th fret/3rd string! The pinky is at 6th fret! Argh! If it is at 5th fret, it is still fine. But it is at 6th fret. My fingers are short!! I had to keep massaging my fingers.

Meanwhile, drummer was reading through the magazine that she bought. We sat down and chatted for bout an hour. There were Ppl who took the escalator, looked at us and giving different expressions. Anyway, I was busy practicing, so I didn’t notice much of the ppl. Heck care.

After tt, we went home. Lucky, bro and sis did the housework already. So I could take a break. Used the computer and surfed net. Watched L`arc~En~Ciel mtv on youtube. Woah.. some of their mtv is veri interesting. I like forbidden lover, kasou (flower burial), my dear, ibara no namida etc.

3.44 pm

I kept replaying kasou pv, cuz I like the song a lot. And the pv is subtitled. So I wanted to watch it, to understand the meaning. Prefer their live performances cuz the atmosphere is better. And the fans keep screaming and cheers for the performance. Hyde can really sing! Woah! I am aiming to sing like him. Hhahhaaha.

Oh yah. Yesterday I saw alex’s band in the medium studio! cuz I booked the small studio. When we reached, I popped over to the medium studio to take a look. And I saw him! He was singing on the microphone. Argh! My first reaction was to run away. I dunno y. I was acting like a fan girl. K.. he is not really handsome. But he looks bit cute and stylo. Yeah. Stylo. And most importantly, he can sing well. If I did not remember wrongly, he is in Kafein band now. Wooh. And they were jamming juz near to us. Think he forget me ler.. awww.. nvm.

My deepest impression of him singing was at Gashaus pub. One of the songs that he sang was “Ibara no namida”. He sound like hyde in that song. And I was surprised and impressed. The atmosphere in the pub, the audience crowding in front of the stage, everybody head banging together really gives the feel. I was drunk in that atmosphere. And I actually liked the way he presents himself on stage. Hmmph.

But when I see the thread at forum, stating that Gethsemane is looking for vocalist. I was veri shocked and keep wondering why. I contact the person and told them that I am interested to be the vocalist. But the person whom I contact with, told me that they wanted someone experienced. I dun mind the difficulty of the songs that they give me. Cuz I like difficult songs and self challenge. But too bad la…

6.06pm
goin off soon. Bb ..^^
think not goin for vocal lesson, cuz havin cough. Getting worse. Goin alice shop to see my dolfie, cuz miss him a lot.

24 January 2008, 12.18 pm

2008-01-25T02:33:00.001-08:00

24 January 2008, 12.18 pm

today is busy! Busy! Busy! Work load is increasing!
It is a good and bad thing.
Good , bcuz there are things to do, and time will pass by very fast.
Bad is that have to rush the things before the cut-off time.

Argh. It’s not my fault leh, boss.
It’s bcuz of the damn ipt, who did not do their work consistently. And the broker has not send us the amended confirmation yet. I am juz doin my job by reminding the ipt to check and amend things. It is not my wrong.

Haiz. Can’t be bothered to explain ler.

6.05 PM
Hungry …. Still havin flu, cold and cough. damn. For 3 days ler.

25 January 2008. 9.35 am

argh. Haf to work.
Nvm. It’s Friday! Yeah! Yippee! Another 9 hours to go!!

11.24 am

still havin flu. Brought a roll of toilet paper to office, so that I can slowly use it. Didn’t eat medicine, but kept drinking lots of water. Better dun get sore throat. Cuz this sun, will be jamming with band mates.

Last night went shopping with mom, sis and bro. sis was very happy cuz she can go shopping. Furthermore, mom redeemed shopping vouchers with her credit card privileges. But I was not happy. Bcuz the shop that they went to, is either veri teenage style or veri casual style. Is just not my style. Though I wear casual too, however it is veri boring. My dressing is gothic punk, casual or sexy. Sian. So I bought a dress which my family would approve. during new year, I definitely cannot wear gothic punk, otherwise my mom will nag, scold, beat a hell out of me.

Sian..

22 January 2008 , 3.52 pm

2008-01-22T02:14:00.000-08:00

22 January 2008 , 3.52 pm

yippee!! The confirmation is in. I can process the trade! Great.
My the other senior colleague took half day leave. Sian nah.

Flu is getting worse. Haiz.

4.20 pm

doin filing now. Juz ate 3 panadols.. hope tt I can get better by tonite.
I miss my son. One more month to bring him home. Yeah yeah.
I thought of sewing a big bag, big enough to put a SD, when the SD is in their sitting position. The main feature of the bag, is that, on one side of the bag, the material is plastic. So that ppl can view ur dolfie. Realized that a lot of the friends who haf dolls, they had to carry their dolls on their hand. So, this bag will come in handy. As there are few advantage.
1. the owner do not have to carry the dolfie, and carry lots of other things at the same time. To reduce load off the owner

2. though the owner is not carryin the dolfie, but the dolfie will still be noticed by the public.

3. if the owner do not wish the dolfie to be shown, the owner can turn their bag, with the cloth material facing out.

Isn’t it a good idea? But, I doubt anyone would want to get it from me. Cuz there are some bags in the market with plastic material, serving the same purpose. And currently, in the market, there is not much ppl with dolfies. And most of the target audience are still students, and they do not have the finance to pay for it.

Aww… nvm. Juz an idea of mine.

I ever thought of venturing into the marketing department. Cuz I find this kind of job is more challenging, though it is more stressful. But the self satisfaction after completing the task is much stronger than office job. And the salary is good too. ^^ Think I will consider changing job within this year, but before that, I must save up a sum of money first.

But, my dream is to get into the music industry. Music industry in Singapore is not good. It is compulsory to go abroad. And it is good to start early. At my age now, I can be in the back production team. However, I do not have the experience neither the capital. So, it will be better if I choose to be in the management team. I have lots of contacts. So, I will gather, select, train the candidates to be in the production team. I want to start a recording studio. get the right ppl, groom local talents, send them to local and international performances, organize more local music events (Jrock, Jpop. maybe S-pop too.) need to diversify, in order to attract more audience.

Aaargh. Day dreaming again… yawnz..

5.05 pm

handsome eh? This is Asagi from “D”. he is the vocalist of the visual kei band. Like his vocals. Is low, deep and powerful. Veri few guys look good in long hair. But he is one of those who looks good in long straight hair.

Their latest album look. – Neo Culture Album -

I lurv the song named “Barairo no hibi”. The mtv is nice. I watch it at youtube. Though it is a rock song, but the song is catchy. The mtv is taken at green field, and thus giving it a relaxed feeling. Asagi is getting more handsome … drooolz **fangirl mode*** **wriggles neko ears & shakes tails**

They have other nice songs too. Eg. Follow, Kuon (can be found on youtube), Canon de Colca etc.

Asagi (vocalist)

Hidezou (guitarist)

Ruiza (guitarist)

tsunehito (bassist)

hiroki (drummer)

handsome leh…

5.36 pm

veri sleepy. Dozed off …. ZZZZzzzzzzZZZZzzzz

5.47 pm
woke up ler! Was woken up by a phone call. Thought it was my colleague who called to wake me up. It is a dealer from a broker, confirming the trade.

6.17 pm

still at work. goin off soon ler.. haha ..

22 January 2008, 9.23 am

2008-01-21T23:26:00.000-08:00

22 January 2008, 9.23 am

today came back to work. Yesterday went for course training.
Having a sore throat and bad flu, running nose. Haiz. Feel like taking mc and go out play. Hahaha. Bought his gift already and I have not pass it to him yet.

2.08 pm

juz now went back to clubhouse, to put his gift. He is havin his lessons. Haiz.
Suddenly I felt like a stupid fool. It is time for me to put down the feelings. I should give up. Should not waste my time, money on him. Asshole. Scold myself for so stuuupid.

Havin a cold, flu, running nose and slight fever. Now, feelin better after I took a walk just now. But my throat feels veri dry, need to drink plenty of water. Wah siao.. later meeting leader for learning vocal. She wants to teach me some other stuffs which is impt. But havin flu, think I still go no matter what.

Finish doin most of the work already. Only need to wait for the broker’s confirmation to be sent to us, den I can process the last trade. But I can’t go home yet. Another 4 hours. Sian.

Tiara boy!

2008-01-21T05:56:00.000-08:00

yeah hey!! i cancelled my order wif the lady who is in charge of the doll orders.
cuz i prefer to buy the doll on spot, and bring home. juz now went to alice there, and ordered a dolfie. is a SD.
actually i wanted a guy, but later on , find tt gal is much better . cuz can dress them up in skirts. but realised tt the guy dolfie looks more pretty. anyway, finally got a male dolfie. my boy boy! think i still namin him tiara, though tiara sounds girlish.but such dolfies alwaz look veri bishounen, and when u dress them in dresses, they look veri girl.

took few pics at alice's shop, with Ruki. didn't put the eyes, but at some angle, it looks like there is eyes.

but the hair is not neat , need to tidy it.
only paid deposit, but will be payin rest of it next month, when i get my bonus. pix is bit blur, cuz usin my hp to take pix and my hp keeps lagging. haiz.

yeah!! gettin it in a month! the clothes tt is worn on him, is not a dress, is my grey shawl. cuz there is no clothes for him, so i wrapped him in my shawl. borrowed the boots from ruki **thx wor**. it still looks not bad.

Sian

2008-01-20T05:51:00.000-08:00

Juz now i nearly cried , cuz really worried tt dun have enough money to pay for my dolfie. I really treat it like my daughter ler. Been thinkin to get 1 since last year.
have to wait for month . . .
Mom stressin me again for the money thing.
sis borrowed 10 bucks from me .
lucky the lady takin the doll order, told me tt she will strike off my name from the list. But my order is still valid. When all order is in, she will sms me to confirm whether i still want it or not.
still waitin for my bonus . Argh.

where are thou my daughter ?
under the bright moon light tonite
wishin for u
all the stars shining so bright
all for u