speechless

woh hoh...
so many things happened again..
last sat went to wild wild wet wif jamie and gackt.
though it was fun, but i still feel bit weird.
cuz i felt like a 'lightbulb' la..dian deng pao..
later at nite, jamie sms me and confess to me tt she and gackt is together.
i was like wtf..0_o
somehow i could sense it on fri nite, when we meet up for dinner.
cuz on last fri, i had a solo photoshoot, jamie came along, as she wanted to take pix for me.
after tt, she told me tt gackt is coming. den i started to find it weird, how come everytime gackt looks for her and contact her, instead of me. so i kind of suspect it. den after our dinner and shopping around, gackt sent her to mrt. i topped up my ezlink card, den i find it faster to take mrt , den to take bus. so , i took mrt instead. den i saw gackt still standing next to her, when actulaly his mrt has come. and he did not take tt trip. i told him tt his mrt trip has arrived, he told me tt he is sending her back home. den i was like 0_o ahhhhhhh.. i smell a rat.

on sat, we went to wild wild wet, played the slides, and swam. had fun la.. but i feel bit weird.
the actions tt gackt carried out, implies tt he is interested in jamie. so , i strongly suspect tt they are together. i observed tt, there is few times tt gackt tried to hold her hands, or even touch her.. haiz guys ahr..*facepalms*
at nite, jamie told me bout it , when i and her was smsing each other. though i was angry tt she did not tell me few weeks ago, but there is nothing i can do. cuz he was the one who initiatted it. he just suddenly treat her like a gf, and asked her to be his gf la. i was like wtf.. i was speechless... speechless.. dunno wad to say... cried

and i know tt feelings cannot be forced. so, i dun wanna force him la.
and due to the age gap, i kind of know tt it is impossible between us.
wadever, .. i dun wanna care bout him anymore.
but most imptly, he dun mistreat jamie. kns
if not, i will go after him and skin him alive.
and it is not worth it, to fight wif jamie over him.
he is not worth it

feelin sad and disappointed
when i was on the phone wif ozora, i couldn't help it but to cry. i dunno y... i was just too disapppointed wif myself and him and everything..sad.. angry
wadever la knn ccb sbdl..

for tis week. my cousin passed away. he committed suicide, hang himself.gosh.
and he is my age la! but he is older den me by few months.
he is young and promising, but he chosed to commit suicide.
my sis and mom kept debating on his commit suicide actions la... wth

boss is on leave since last thur, till next next week. next week, he is going to jakarta, for biz trip.
yeah!! he is not around.. at least i feel more relaxed la..phew. not so stressed ...hahaha

just now , i haf just finished sewing the brown waist pouch for my cosplay at cosfest event. yeah! i still need to sew one more waist pouch, den i will proceed to do the boots cover for my cosplay costume. after tt, i will sew the silver stripes on the white coat. can't wait for the event.. cosplaying as lady from Devil may cry 4 game... hahaha... i think i am the first Lady cosplayer in singapore la...hahaha.. and i can't wait to see my ''dante'' tooo... hope tt he is handsome ah..lol
i just cut my hair last month, for the fun of it. and cuz i wanna spike it.. and i didn't realise tt this hairstyle is so versatile la!!
i can put down the hair, add in long black hair extension, to cosplay as toshiya from dir en grey. i received the costume tt i order from bright zanya liao! had the photoshoot last fri.. yippee! the result was k la... jamie came and took pix. my poly friend, darren came too. den wenjin came too. lol. only received pix from wenjin so far.. some of the pix looks not bad... but in some pix, i really look kns.. cannot make it siah.. cuz of my face shape la... my face is chubby la... only look good from certain angle.. den jamie said tt i looked more like hiroki from D (the drummer from D group, asagi group ah)..wth

i can oso spike up my hair and cosplay as Lady from DMC4 leh! wahhh! didn't expect tt tis new hairstyle is shoooo cool la. i no need to buy wig liao..haha.
i cut tis hairstyle only for $10!! so cheap and yet so nice!
a lot of ppl cannot recognize me after i cut my hair.. hahah.. feels great.

lately got to know more friends from sgcafe forum... den there is tis group of friends, we often haf conference call at nite.. bit bo liao..but fun la..haha >_< . they are ozora (laughs veri loud), shiroro (nice gal), aiiki (haf a supper cuuute voice la), elias (funny guy), raygondra (pretty gal), stanley (he is acting damn gay la! but he is not a gay..) and etc etc etc...
we often chat till 2 to 3 am plus liao..till everybody is so tired and go to sleep, den we will put down the phone. they are a group of funny friends la... great to know them. at least i dun feel so stressed being wif them.. i feel veri relaxed ! and fun!
we often meet up on sat, and go out together. sat is meant to be relaxing and fun la.. esp after working so tired on weekdays. haha >_<
too bad i didn't join them today for the movie outing.. hmm. will join them next week den.

as for the gal band thing..dammit.. lolikitty called me on thur, and told me tt the band is disbanded. they are facing some members commitment issues and fan issues. i was like ...hah.. 0_O fan issues ?!???!! O_O wtf is tt.. wadever.. they are stopping currently la.. they will ask me to join them, if they are getting back together again.. i was like...da ma de.
on tt thur, i brought my guitar out, cuz i wanted to take guitar lessons from ken. but last min, akimme told me tt the lesson is cancelled as ken is half dead. 0_0 ?!???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
half dead ? wad's tt supposed to mean ..
mayb he is really tired from his own stuffs bah..wtf
wadever i am disappointed by them la.
on the phone, i told lolikitty tt i am serious bout tis band, and tt i am disappointed after she told me tt. she said tt she is disappointed too.. ah . fuck la.. ma de . cheee byeeeeeee

i am feelin si bei du lan la... after so many things happened. disappointed by so many ppl and fucking things la...

nvm. i'll just stick to my current band and wait for them to finish exams, den we will start jamming together again.. ahh... i miss my members la.. T____T

meanwhile, i'll gambate gambate all the way!! must practice more on my singing!