ruby

well... now i am havin dinner at kfc, at thomson plaza.
i work till 7 plus today.
didnt want to go home so early.
dun want to see stepmom face at home . sian
last nite , she nag at me again over a small thing.
nag is still fine. den she slap me on my face.
i was stunned, and scared, and angry.
i stared at her angrily.
she kept sayin tt i did not do things the way she expect.
she has high expectation, keeps demanding things from me.
her daughter, aka my stepsis advised me to move out , cuz she keeps seeing me kena punishment from stepmom.over small little mistakes. but stepmom face is distorted when she is scolding me.
i was thinkin, hey, this is just a small thing, must you give such punishment, must u give such sarcastic remarks.
she also said worse things to her own daughter (my step sis ).

sometimes i really dunno how to react
but one thing for sure, i want to make her and ppl who go against me, regret for wad they say, and make them suffer.
i want revenge

sometimes, i think, mayb i should not get a bf
i am not suitable to fall in love
i should not get a bf
but, at times, i really do hope that there is someone special there waiting for me

kept crying for past few days
dunno why
i keep feelin so insecure
i dun haf the sense of security
i really dunno wad i should do
-______________-______________________-___________________-

Ruby

brown eyes staring in front
cold wind blowing against the cheeks
with the sky in front of you
within your arms reach

red eyes turning back down
hot wind evaporates from the body
with the floor against your back
swallowing your soul down

down into the hell
hell of the place where
where all sinful souls
souls which screamed endlessly
endlessly into the night

(chorus)

all the memories in my heart
keep you here alive
all the tears in my eyes
burns your night alive
you always see me in your dream
with my black wings spread open
ready to receive you any time
you can't escape

-_______________---_________________---______________
copyrighted (C) property of acev.

(note : once a content, song, story is being written and published, it is considered a copyrighted content.)

summary

been long time since i last posted.
went for the EOY 2 weeks ago. quite fun.
met up with lots of old and new friends. almost couldn't recognize some cosplayers cuz they are dressed so differently.i went in asagi outfit. it was not bad la. some ppl can recognize me in that . hahamet up with jamie and went there together. she look pretty in her black gothic lolita dress. but she is quite shy, when ppl request to take her photo.
after everything, i met up with neez and some other friends, and went to bugis junction for dinner.
last week, celebrated my birthday with family at home. ate cake, pizza hut, watch tv, chat. at least not bad la. in afternoon, went jamming with new band members. their skill is not bad. everyone get along quite well.
fri night, went to colleague house for housewarming and mini xmas party.haha. we sang ktv lo.
on sat, went to project breakout gig. it was quite fun, meeting up with some friends there. enjoyed some of the music, cuz the speaker is veri loud. omg la.
on sun, went to the haru workshop, which features on elegant gothic aristocrat (ega) and elegant gothic lolita (EGL) fashion. oso shared some knowledge on makeup tips and etiquettes. at least i went there, we had a small photoshoot and had afternoon tea, at Lawry prime ribs. the restuarant food is expensive. but we only paid $15 previously and was able to enjoy the dessert and drinks. the atmosphere is veri nice.. will post up the pix after i found my cable for my camera. i dunno where i put the camera usb cable..gosh. and i took so mannny pix .
tis fri is xmas gathering with poly friends, most of my good friends are from poly. from our life arts cca club. grace has come back to singapore from australia. she is taking degree course there. she is back and having her holiday now..aww.missed her.. my long time friend. knew her for 4 years already..
last week, broke up with my bf.
sigh
i could say , it's all my fault.
and he is seriously angry over everything
he tell me not to look for him anymore, it's over.
he kept repeating that.finelet him regret for what he sayanyway, if i am really such a hassle to him, i should let him go.
i am sure he can find someone againbut i dunno..
i was heartbroken..cried everynite
miss him
stillwanted to look for him again , and talk bout it seriously
hope that he will change his mind but he wouldn't de
called him twice on that nite
he rejected the call twice
tot that after he calm down, maybe we can still talk
but it looks like there is no more room for discussion
no more chance given
anyway it's over already..

life still haf to go on , no matter what

new blog sites

tadah...
finally oso post up some sites that i discovered. esp the site for dl jrock and some korean songs. the korean song site was recommended to me by a new friend, whom i get to know thru soft forum.

and he is still studying in sec school!! omg la
i read his blog . his blog is a music blog, updating ppl on the local music events. at first, i thought he is either a poly student or someone working. however, he is still in sec school! tt surprises me. and i am glad to find another music lover too.

i always like to search for new site and surf and get some music or pix ..haha. haf lots of sites in my fav list..bleh..

this mornin, my stepmom told me to help her out at her booth during this weekend. she have a booth at a travel companies fair . ah liao... i dun want to go and help leh.. can't she and her colleagues do it ? she even ask my sis to help ask around sis's friend, whoever needs a job on the weekend. den mom ordered me to cancel all my appointments for this weekend, just to go and help her out . wa liaooo..i dun want to go at all . den i thinnk, i haf no appointment tis weekend, only for sun, my filipine colleagues haf moved to new house and is staying together.so they invited us to go to their house for housewarming . den mom said tt no need to go, no need to do this type of nonsense thing. wa kaooo.... she dun haf to comment so sarcastically, rite..some more she said tt early in da mornin..kns. i was in a hurry to go off work, and i want to shut her mouth, so i said, k. anyway, i got no events tis weekend. luckily her event is tis weekend. cuz next weekend, is EOY cosplay event! yeah!
i rather slack at home to watch anime and do my cosplay costume, den to go and help her out at her booth. i find it stressing to work with her. worked in her company before. wa liaooooo... tt's why i never ever want to work in her company. i dun like to dabble in family biz thing..

wadever ..
time to go back work and find some new sites to surf..

things for sale

finally after so long.. i finally set up a blog to sell my stuffs.
http://vodkaonicemiscz.blogspot.com/

fellow friends and ppl who happen to pass by, can click to see the products that i am selling.hahaha

anyway la, i have not yet post up any pictures. cuz haf not take pix of those products!! omg la. this weekend, i will be busy.taking photos of the products and posting it up.

i want da money for daily expenses, so tt i haf enough money to eat, and to buy stuffs for home (when family member ask me to buy stuff for home). and i want some extra money to buy clothes for my dollfies.. i want to go the doll affair and at least buy 1 new dress for my gal tiara. i am actually thinking of forcing myself to stay at home for the TDA event, so i wouldn't be tempted to buy things . but it is a annual event. i missed last year event... but even if i go, i only need to pay entrance fee. cuz all the booths only accept cash.so if i only have 20 in my pocket as budget, i wouldn't spend out of hand.haha.

this month my money is spent on returning ppl money and ppl borrow money from me
return bf 50
return alice 50
bro borrow 70
mom take 500
sis borrow 100

i only bought veri little stuff for myself
bought an extra thing, a wig for my girl. haf been waiting for one month to buy it
tiara new pink wig - $45 (alicce charge me expensive..wa kao)
eyeliner 14.90 (for cosplay too)
gold hairspray 6.90 (for cosplay)
red contact lense 19 (for cosplay)

hmmmm... hungry. ate cup noodle for lunch... now hungry. i wanna go off work liao..